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17 Parenting Battles You And Your Partner Know All Too Well

Whoever said parenting isn't a competition was wrong.

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1. Who has to take the crying baby out of the restaurant while the other parent gets to eat their hot meal in peace.


Tip to victory: Flatter your partner by saying, "You always calm her down so much quicker than I can. You've got the touch!"


2. Who has to assemble the kid's new toy featuring 87-parts.


Tip to victory: Make a habit of suggesting a stuffed animal whenever you're toy shopping. That way you can always demur by saying, "Don't look at me. I suggested the stuffed animal!"

5. Who has to listen to the kid's 30-minute treatise on why Ever After High is actually better than Monster High.


Tip for victory: When your partner is out of earshot whisper to your kid, "You know what? Your mom/dad was just wondering about this very subject the other day!"

6. Who has to take the kid into the unbelievably nasty gas station bathroom.

Patrikslezak / Getty Images

Tip for victory: Hand your partner a pack of wipes the minute you pull into the gas station as if to say, "Duh, of course you'll be the one taking the kid!"


7. Who has to sit next to the toddler at a restaurant.

Flickr: mliu92 / Via Creative Commons

Tip for victory: Sit across from wherever the waiter puts the high chair, then tell your partner you did it because "I want to be able to look at my two loves!"

9. Who has to answer the kid's plea for water in the middle of the night.


Tip to victory: Whoever can most convincingly pretend they're not roused from sleep by your kid's bellowing wins.

10. Who has to get up early with the kids on Saturday morning.


Tip for victory: Tell your partner, "Can you please do it? I'm exhausted from dealing with the kid's nightmare at 4 a.m." Whether your kid actually had a nightmare at 4 a.m. is besides the point.

11. Who has to use the Nosefrida.

Tip for victory: Using the Nosefrida looks way worse than it actually us, so agree to do it but only after making sure your partner promises that they owe you big time.


12. Who gets dibs on the kid's ice cream when they can't finish it.

Ajay Devgn FFilms

Tip for victory: Pick up the ice cream and say, "I'll throw this out," then gobble it down as you take leisurely steps to the trash can.

13. Who has to answer when the kid asks a tough/awkward question.


Tip to victory: Turn to your partner and say, “What’s the answer, Dad/Mom? You’re an expert on this.” Just be prepared for your partner to reply, “Me? An expert? Oh, no, I'm not nearly as much of an expert as you are.”

14. Who has to announce “It’s time go” at the park.

Flickr: christines / Via Creative Commons

Tip to victory: Make sure you're the last one to tell your kid, "Two more minutes." That way you'll be able to say, "I just told him two minutes! Now you go get him!"

15. Who has to go into the pool with the kids while the other parent gets to chill on a lounge chair.

Flickr: crustyscumbrothersontour / Via Creative Commons

Tip to victory: Convince your kid your partner is much more fun in the pool. If this means you have to pretend you don't understand the rules of Marco Polo, so be it.

16. Who has to try the culinary creation the kid Frankenstein-ed in the kitchen.


Tip to victory: When you see your kid making that ketchup, pineapple, cheese, and Cheerios sandwich, quickly eat an apple. That way when the sandwich is ready you can say, "Sorry, I just ate!"


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