1. Your Deepest Shame in San Francisco
You’ve spent an afternoon driving around Pacific Heights trying to find the Full House home.
2. Your Deepest Shame in Los Angeles
You’ve felt a surge of excitement when you realize you’ve been somewhere the Kardashians went on their show. “Holy crap! They’re at Sagebrush Cantina!”
3. Baseball in San Francisco
You hate The Dodgers with a fiery passion and worship the Giants so much that you’re willing to overlook whatever it is Tim Lincecum is trying to grow above his lip.
4. Baseball in Los Angeles
You hate the Giants with a fiery passion and worship The Dodgers so much that you’re willing to stay until at least the seventh inning.
6. Slang in Los Angeles
You’re all, “I know that SoCal slang is, like, totally cliched, but whatever.”
7. Celebrities in San Francisco
“Look, Ma! It’s CEO and co-founder of WhatsApp Jan Koum!”
8. Celebrities in Los Angeles
“Look, Ma! It’s the star of World War Z Brad Pitt!”
13. Professional Football in San Francisco
You root on the Niners and remember their glory days of winning 5 Super Bowls in the ’80s and ’90s.
15. Visibility in San Francisco
You can barely see your hand in front of your face because of fog.
16. Visibility in Los Angeles
You can barely see your hand in front of your face because of smog.
18. Why You’re Late in Los Angeles
You get stuck on the 405, or the 101, or the 10, or…
22. Freeway Names in Los Angeles
You put “the” before a freeway number, or just call it by its name, like “Pacific Coast Highway,” “The Hollywood Freeway” or “The Long Beach Freeway.”
23. Surfing in San Francisco
Great white sharks prefer the cold waters around the San Francisco Bay Area, so you not only freeze but risk becoming fish bait.
24. Surfing in Los Angeles
You aren’t nearly as badass, but who’s complaining when the water is warm and the people on the beach are so pretty?
- Trump has named H.R. McMaster as his new National Security Adviser, replacing Michael Flynn, who resigned last week.
- Milo Yiannopoulos's book has been canceled after he was accused of defending pedophilia.
- Russian ambassador to the UN Vitaly Churkin has died after suffering from cardiac arrest this morning, a day before his 65th birthday.
- A girl's best friend showed up to her date in a fake mustache to spy on her and it is the definition of friendship goals 😎