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    22 Incredibly Creepy Things Every Parent Does

    You'll be creepy if you want to.

    1. Saving your kids' baby teeth.

    Flickr: sharynmorrow / Via Creative Commons

    You also save locks of hair. You know, like a serial killer.

    2. Calling your partner “mom” or “dad.”

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    You get bonus creepy points for calling each other this when your kids aren't even around.

    3. Telling your kids an old fat man will break into your home and leave gifts.

    Flickr: affiliate / Via Creative Commons

    "But only if you're good, kids. And be careful...because he's watching. Santa is ALWAYS watching." (Cue Psycho theme.)

    4. Hugging costumed characters.

    Flickr: lorenjavier / Via Creative Commons

    You DO know it's just a sweaty teenager in there, right?

    5. Sniffing your baby’s butt.

    Flickr: siegelfamily / Via Creative Commons

    You: "Oh, boy! He definitely needs a change! Whoo-whee! What did he eat? Ha ha!"

    Everyone else: Blink, blink, awkward smile.

    6. Acting incredibly excited about a kids' movie.

    Flickr: jeepersmedia / Via Creative Commons

    You don't get to see many movies for adults these days, do you?

    7. Talking like a baby.

    Even you hate how you sound, but you can't stop yourself.

    8. Taking photos the first time your kid uses the potty.

    Flickr: mandajuice / Via Creative Commons

    And then putting them on Facebook.

    9. Trying to act hip.

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    There's a reason teenagers say, "Mom/Dad, just stop."

    10. Nervously talking to your kids about the birds and the bees.


    "Vagina." "Penis." "Intercourse." There's no way to not make this creepy.

    11. Picking boogers out of your kids' noses.

    Flickr: kga245 / Via Creative Commons

    It's not just that you're doing it, but that you're totally unfazed.

    12. Making people hold your baby.


    "Hold her. Go on! HOLD HER, DAMN IT!!!"

    13. Making your kids breathe on you when they come home from a party.


    And then inhaling deeply.

    14. Walking around with spit-up on your clothes.

    Flickr: potashman / Via Creative Commons

    What you say: "It's just a little spit-up." What people hear: "I have vomit on my shirt."

    15. Knowing random facts about One Direction.


    You only know this stuff because of your kids. You swear.

    16. Keeping tabs on your kid with a baby monitor.

    Flickr: tevaman / Via Creative Commons

    If it weren't your kid, you'd be one step away from saying, "Put the lotion in the bucket."

    17. Eating the leftover food off of your kid's plate even after they've touched and licked every inch of it.

    Flickr: juhansonin / Via Creative Commons

    If enjoying a fuzzy chicken finger makes you creepy, so be it.

    18. Letting your kids wipe their noses on your pants.

    Flickr: jnissa / Via Creative Commons

    "What? I didn't have any Kleenex!" you say, all wild-eyed.

    19. Driving by your kid's school and staring at the kids on the playground.

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    You: "I was just looking to see if I could see my kid, Officer."

    Officer: ....

    You: "I have a kid! I promise!"

    20. Saying "I have to go potty" when you're out with your friends.


    Also, saying "Bye-bye" with a furtive wave when you leave.

    21. Talking to your kids' stuffed animals as if they're real.

    Universal Pictures

    "I'm going to put Mr. Pooh here, sweetie. Is that OK with you, Mr. Pooh?"

    22. Spit-cleaning your kids' faces.

    The creepiest part? You've got wipes in your bag.

    It's cool, parents. You do you.


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