Skip To Content

    24 Crazy Things You Never Imagined Saying Before Kids

    Did I really just say that?

    1. "Honey, which one of the kids took a bite out of the Elmo flashcard?"

    2. "Why are there Legos in the peanut butter?!"

    3.

    "DON'T LICK THE TV SCREEN!!!" #thingsineverthoughtidsaytomykids

    Robin O'Bryant@robinobryant

    "DON'T LICK THE TV SCREEN!!!" #thingsineverthoughtidsaytomykids

    2:09 PM - 03 Sep 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

    4. "Stop eating Play Doh!"

    Flickr: 150hp / Via Creative Commons

    5. "Adam, there are no weapons at the table."

    6. "Please stop putting gummy bears on your penis."

    Flickr: texas_lvn_2000 / Via Creative Commons

    7. "That green bar in the corner is soap. You must use it on your body."

    8. "Being hot isn't an excuse to take off your underwear."

    Flickr: giona / Via Creative Commons

    9. "Put the goldfish back in the fish tank!"

    Flickr: rhinoneal / Via Creative Commons

    10.

    11. "If you're going to say hello to the neighbor, you need to cover your penis first!"

    Flickr: drh / Via Creative Commons

    12. "Don't touch dead bugs with your popsicle!"

    Flickr: techne / Via Creative Commons

    13. "Your vagina is not a purse, so stop putting pennies in it!"

    Getty Images/iStockphoto Choreograph

    14. "The microwave is not a playhouse for your stuffed animals."

    15. "Just because you can make it bigger doesn't mean you have to."

    16. "I really couldn't tell you if Sofia the First has ever peed her bed."

    Disney

    17. "Do not bite the cat!"

    18.

    Bandaids are not stickers. #thingsparentssay

    19. "No, Harry Potter does not have magical farts."

    Warner Bros.

    20. "Please stop looking for the cat’s penis. She doesn’t have one, I promise.”

    Flickr: theenmoy / Via Creative Commons

    21. "Tampons are NOT toys!"

    Heather Ostrowski / Via Facebook: babyJackblankets

    22. "Stop sticking markers in your nose!"

    23. "Take the headphones off the dog."

    Flickr: pug / Via Creative Commons

    24. "Stop peeing on each other!"

    Idal / Via iStock

    Looking for more laughs about all the hilarious things kids do? Sign up for the weekly BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!



    Want awesome parenting tips in your inbox twice a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form