1. This daughter who left her dad in a pile of ashes on the floor:
my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me
2. And this mom who did the same to her daughter:
My parents are replacing their coffee machine, which is 7 years old. Me: that’s not that old, I have sheets older than that. Mother: well perhaps your sheets aren’t getting as much action as our coffee machine. I’m going to need an ambulance.
5. And this sneaky smart takedown of British Imperialism:
The contents of the British Museum https://t.co/TWlyg7vXj8
6. This heroic defender of dad bods everywhere:
shrek grossed 484 million just so we’re clear https://t.co/GmuMK2Momz
7. And this comeback that probably made Kevin Sorbo regret his tweet:
@ksorbs If this was a communist takeover, you would have a job.
9. This comeback that earned every one of those six o's:
@fox5dc Lmfaoooooo what yal gon do? Send em home?
15. Comebacks aren't just for people! They're for sassy companies (OK, social media managers) too:
@KaelaDianne97 They should call you Kayla because that's how it's supposed to be spelled
16. Walmart's comeback may be even funnier than MoonPie's:
@chaselyons Why do you keep stealing eggplant, Chase?
17. This hilariously cold response that only MCU fans will get:
If you wanna see Black Widow drop on Disney+, jump to 1:52:50 in Avengers: Endgame. https://t.co/2ZB4Nx9S85
18. This funny comeback that rained on a ridiculous statement:
You supposed to become waterproof after you turn 18 or something? Lol https://t.co/5DhAZnXrPH