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50 Tweets From Moms In 2020 That Had No Right Being This Funny

Being a mom in 2020 was...an experience.

Being a mom in 2020 was...an experience.

Cat and Nat / Via giphy.com

Thankfully, a lot of very funny moms wrote a lot of very funny tweets about it all! So without further ado, here are the 50 funniest mom tweets of 2020:

1.

Did you know that there’s a list of ingredients on baby wipes? Yeah, I went to the bathroom without my phone again.

2.

My son just asked me if I when I was little I had to stay inside for COVIDs 1 through 18

3.

I told my daughter to grab her mask so we can go to the store. This was the mask she grabbed.

4.

Thoughts and prayers for my son who thought it would be funny to tell me “I’ll get to it when I get to it, woman”

5.

My kid wrote a song called, “I Wonder What’s Inside your Butthole” Quite honestly, it slaps.

6.

I was slicing leftover ham as my kids were watching Peppa Pig and I was momentarily very sorry

7.

My 9-month-old ate part of her sister’s math worksheet and now we’re waiting to see if she passes algebra.

8.

Our homeschooling curriculum includes: Honors Laundry and AP Vaccumming.

9.

quarantined babies don’t even know about crying in restaurants yet

10.

There are 5 of us in this house and 738 shoes by the front door this does not check out

11.

Quarantine without kids = staycation Quarantine with kids = hostage situation

12.

A pandemic is no excuse for excessive screen time. Study after study has shown that electronics are harmful to young minds. I’ve made the difficult decision to limit my children’s iPad use to no more than 14 hours a day and I hope you do the same.

13.

My son got hungry so I gave him a snack. His teacher is gonna say how he can’t eat and before I knew it, I yelled from the kitchen “Girl, he is at home honey!” & then there was silence.......

14.

Took my kids to the pediatrician yesterday and I told her we’ve barely left the house in 5 months and then she looked at me in all seriousness and asked how much screen time they were getting. I mean... c’mon, lady, read. the. room.

15.

*5 yo on her kindergarten Zoom class* Teacher: "So what do you do before joining our Zoom class?" 5yo: "My mommy hits me and says 'do good!" Me, no make-up, bagel crumbs on my face, unexpectedly joining the Zoom class: "SHE MEANS I HIGH FIVE HER HAND!!!"

16.

Me: (on toilet) Sweety, mommy needs privacy when she pees 3: ok (closes door and stands next to me with the dog) Me: 3: we private now

17.

Why is my son sleeping on the floor like this? LMFAO

18.

I never had a gender reveal party, so just letting y'all know I had a girl 25 years ago, and we accept cash.

19.

My total was $129 at target and my kid was like “I can put this back” lmao GIRL $1.29 for your snickers bar isn’t gonna fix this 😂

20.

My daughter is crying because her sister farted and I sprayed air freshener before she had a chance to sniff it. I’m raising savages.

21.

My daughter came in the room saying we need to talk. Then proceeded to say “I know you don’t whoop us. But I think you need to start whooping my brother”

22.

Does anyone have directions to that village everyone says will raise my children? It sounds wonderful.

23.

Every time I tell my daughter I love her, she responds with, “I love daddy,” which is toddler speak for go fuck yourself, mama. Hashtag blessed.

24.

My kids asked me what I used to play on my iPad when I was a kid and I told them I used to let elmer’s glue dry on my hands and peel it off for fun

25.

I miss going to a restaurant and paying 5.99 for kraft macaroni and cheese for my kid to take two bites of it.

26.

My 5-year-old asked me what a poop hole does. After an impromptu lesson on the digestive system, I realized he actually said “pupil.” Next lesson: Enunciation

27.

When my son failed a math test before March 1, 2020: “Did you not study? Are you not paying attention in class? Do you need a tutor?” When my son fails a math test today: “Welp, buddy, we did our best.”

28.

Having kids is wild, you get to watch miniature versions of yourself gradually become cooler while you become progressively less cool

29.

7yo son: May I have some water? Me: What are the magic words? 7yo son: I can get it myself. Me: There you go.

30.

My son who has just learned how babies are made looked at me and my husband then at his two brothers and said ‘you guys had three sexes right’ so sometimes having kids is kind of alright

31.

32.

My daughter split 96 in half and got a number in the 400s... IF YOU GOT 6 FCKIN APPLES

33.

Y’all my daughter asked why we grow hair on our private parts and I was like “idk baby that’s a good question” & she sits on my bed dead serious & goes “maybe it was just God adding little details” 🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

34.

telling my 6 year old about homeschooling for the next couple months and he asked if i had to do that when i was a kid and i said no and then he asked if chairs were even invented yet, so i think the first thing we’ll study is his fucking attitude.

35.

We’ve been getting a meal kit service and 9yo has been gamely trying all of it, but the other day it was salmon, which I knew he’d never eat, so I made him chicken fingers from frozen instead. He was like “WOW, is this hello fresh? This is INCREDIBLE.”

36.

Kid in my son’s class explained to me that she was sure he has two moms because he has “the pretty mom and the other mom.” She described each to me in some detail. Reader, both are me.

37.

My daughter just asked me if my boobs were ever round. In case you’re wondering about some of the ways motherhood crushes your soul.

38.

My dad has been doing a huge amount of childcare for us in quarantine so I’m delighted to announce my 1-year old baby gestures and shrugs like a 64-year old Jewish man.

39.

My daughter just asked me where we keep our crow bar and I’m pretty sure that’s my cue to end the unsupervised play portion of our day.

40.

Nobody has a better bedside manner than a kid who’s trying to get their sibling they just punched to stop crying before their parents hear.

41.

My kids brought me breakfast in bed, then proceeded to eat MY breakfast. If that doesn't sum up motherhood I don't know what does.

42.

My daughter referred to her period as "Shark Week" this morning. My husband cringed and left the room and my work here is done.

43.

You think you’ve doing an okay job as a parent, and then you learn your 8 year-old has only been pretending to brush his teeth for two months.

44.

Me: *serves dinner* My toddler: what’s this? Me: lasagna. Toddler: I no want it. Me: Just kidding, it’s noodle pizza. Toddler: GIMME

45.

Sometimes I like to play a game with my family called “I’m not cooking dinner, hope you can figure it out.”

46.

3 is having a meltdown because his “penis is big” and he wants it “smaller again,” but he also refuses to stop touching it. I am not prepared for this aspect of being a boy mom.

47.

friend: I had such a great sleep, I woke up really relaxed and refreshed me: [thinks back to my last great sleep in...’08] oh yeah, same

48.

My 5yo calls hand sanitizer “hanitizer” and all I’m saying is that we should give kids everywhere a chance to name things.

49.

Who needs expensive lip plumpers when your toddler can hit you in the face with a toy train for free?

50.

my kid had her whole class make birthday cards for her dog who celebrated his birthday yesterday. we don’t have a dog.

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