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31 Trashy Signs I Can't Believe Actually Had To Be Put Up Somewhere In The World

Signs of the times.

Mike Spohr
by Mike Spohr

BuzzFeed Staff

Let me start this post by saying:

20th Century Fox

And by YOU PEOPLE, I mean the nasty weirdos who did the things that led to signs like this being put up:

A label on a baby changing table says "No more than 50 pounds, for baby changing, not baby making"
u/microwaveableviolin / Via reddit.com

Come on, people! No sex on the changing tables! Can we as a society at least agree to THAT?

Honestly, I can't believe these signs have to exist out in the world. I mean, look...JUST LOOK:

1. Tell me this sign wasn't repurposed FOUR DAYS LATER.

A sign for a wedding has the groom's name crossed out and replaced, as well as the date rewritten from the 11th to the 15th
u/oconnoru / Via reddit.com

2. And why are people sunbathing and having barbecues at the cemetery?!

A sign saying sunbathing and barbecuing are not allowed in the cemetery and asking people to show respect
uHankman66 / Via reddit.com

"Should we grill at the park?" "Nah, bro! Shady Acres Cemetery!"

3. Are employees really masturbating on the job so much they needed to make this sign?

Tap to reveal Click to reveal
A sign features an image of a hand holding a penis with a cross drawn over it and says "clock out before you pull your cock out"
u/_Jester_123_ / Via reddit.com

4. And can we please shut down the fraternity that hung this sign...like yesterday?

Members of a fraternity on the front lawn with a huge sign that says "you taught them to walk, we'll teach them to ride"
u/caraknowsbest / Via reddit.com

5. Who is the monster who palmed a giant ball of potato salad and inspired this sign?

A buffet features a sign next to the potato salad that says "please use utensils and not your hand"
u/willduan / Via reddit.com

6. Just how high ARE the people coming into this place to get pancakes?

A sign on the door to an IHOP says "will not serve or seat guest with strong marijuana odor"
u/elm3r666 / Via reddit.com

7. Ugh...did someone die at this dentist's office?!

A sign reads "if you use methamphetamines within 12 hours of a dental appointment, you need to tell us because dental anesthetic will kill you"
u/mimefucker / Via reddit.com

8. Can you believe this is a preschool bathroom?!

A sign on a wall covered in graffiti says "if you have 20 seconds to do cocaine in our bathroom, you have 20 seconds to wash your fucking hands"
u/thatsmadbro / Via reddit.com

Just kidding. It's not. I mean, it's probably not.

9. Men...please stop asking, OK?

A sign says "massage only, no extras, no happy ending, please stop asking"
u/seehispugnosedface / Via reddit.com

10. And my lord...if any of you see this sign in public, can you please rip it down?

A sign reads "men are the best cooks because with two eggs, one sausage, and a little of milk, he can fill a girl's tummy for nine months"
u/Flojoe420 / Via reddit.com

I'm sure BuzzFeed's lawyer would like me to say this is a joke and in no way constitutes a literal request that you vandalize this sign. Thank you.

11. What on earth is going on with THESE neighbors?

Two signs next to each other, one reads "jackass junkyard next door," and the other reads "hey lowlife, even your mother didn't want you in this neighborhood"
u/Solarpanels46853 / Via reddit.com

12. And, uh, THESE neighbors?!

A large yard sign that says the people living next door are bad owners of a nuisance dog; the sign has been spray-painted with the word "ass" over the message
u/beecrafts / Via reddit.com

13. This has got to be the most awkward yard sale ever.

The sign says "wife caught husband cheating, everything must go, yard sale" with the address of the home
u/LeeOCD2 / Via reddit.com

14. And then I don't know if the person who inspired this sign is their neighbor, but they sound like a real piece of work. Also, the person who made the sign needs to try some meditative breathing exercises or something. Yikes!

A very long sign calling someone a "lowlife piece of shit" and saying they'll beat them with an iron bar for stealing food meant for their 2-year-old daughter
u/Chantelle130 / Via reddit.com

😳 😳 😳

u/Chantelle130 / Via reddit.com

15. This sign is making me feel so many things...none of them good.

The sign says "the hands that remove the chew and vomit from the urinals are the same hands that serve your food and beverages, keep our urinals clean"
u/FreshPowder556 / Via reddit.com

16. "Bra, socks, underpants, etc."

The sign says "money pulled out of anywhere other than your purse, pocket, or wallet will not be accepted; for example: bra, socks, underpants, etc"
u/timmy0101 / Via reddit.com

17. Also not accepted: boob or sock money.

The sign says "due to rising summer temperatures and good hygiene, we will not be accepting boob or sock money; questionably moist bills are subject to denial"
u/TittyKittyBangBang / Via reddit.com

18. It's the smiley face that does it for me. (And my goodness, what is the story that inspired THIS sign?!)

The sign says "do not wipe ass with our curtain" with a smiley face drawn at the end
u/SuperGuitar / Via reddit.com

19. Working in customer service is hell, part one.

The sign says "please be respectful and do not hit on our workers; we have the right to refuse service to anyone who ignores this rule"
u/madlaceann / Via reddit.com

20. Part two.

The sign says "Pharmacy will be short staffed today, please be patient and do not yell, curse, or make threats to the pharmacist"
u/Dkmunyan / Via reddit.com

21. Definitely part three.

The sign says "We don't spit on your floors, don't spit on ours; if you feel the need to spit, take a cup" with a row of five cups taped to the bottom of the sign
u/rixieAaa / Via reddit.com

22. And part four.

A sign on the counter next to the bathroom sink says "if you get caught doing drugs in here, you will be 86'd; where you gonna go after 2 a.m. then, stupid?"
u/Kryzilla / Via reddit.com

Chef's kiss:

u/Kryzilla / Via reddit.com

23. "Thank you."

The marquee sign in front of a Dairy Queen says "parking lot not for drug sales, thank you"
u/pinkglitterblunt / Via reddit.com

24. A committee had to budget for the funding of this sign.

The sign says "please do not poop in the rocks, we can't believe we had to make this sign"
u/Timmah_Timmah / Via reddit.com

25. I feel for the parent who has to drive past this sign with their curious grade schooler.

A stop sign has been spray painted so it now says "don't stop daddy"
u/masterz13 / Via reddit.com

26. People are really out there damaging the 9/11 memorial? REALLY?!

A sign at the 9/11 memorial says "if you see anyone scratching, sitting on, or otherwise damaging the names panels, please alert memorial staff"
uThisPartIsWayTooHard / Via reddit.com

27. I can smell this Post-It.

A Post-It stuck to an elevator says "stop letting y'all funky-ass dogs piss in the elevator, at least clean it up"
u/dankdaddyishereyall / Via reddit.com

28. And, it turns out, I can smell this sign too.

The sign says "the patio is not a bathroom, stop pissing outside, you know who you are, look up, I can see you on camera"
u/TheConfusingWords / Via reddit.com

29. I think this sign is about more than the laundry basket.

A letter taped to a wall says "dear fellow resident, thank you for stealing my 11-year-old laundry basket, now I know what kind of trashy people have moved into this building"
u/redditguevara / Via reddit.com

30. Lastly, I can imagine what inspired this sign...but I really, really don't want to.

A bathroom sign that has a thumbs up and "yes" printed next to someone sitting on the toilet, and a thumbs down and "no" printed next to someone bending over next to the toilet and spraying poop in various directions
u/Thawayshegoes / Via reddit.com

H/T: r/trashy