28 Reasons Being Old Will Be Totally Awesome
Your entire life is basically just killing time until you're a senior citizen.
Being able to yell "Get off my lawn!" unironically.
Wearing a flat cap without looking like a hipster douchebag.
Watching people freak out when you tell them you still drive.
Getting easy laughs whenever you use slang.
Saying, “Eh, what’s that? Speak into my good ear!”
Being super grumpy.
Also, super mean.
Peppering your conversation with old person cliches like, "Back in my day..."
Hanging with your grandkids, then sending them home when you've had enough.
Trolling young people about what it was like in the past.
Making yourself out to have been the most awesome person ever.
Terrorizing the sidewalk on one of these.
All of the senior discounts.
Pretending to be dead just to mess with people.
Calling everyone “Sweetheart.”
Making a very convincing Santa with minimal effort.
Not giving an "F" anymore.
The high-waist pants will be pretty boss too.
Getting props for doing basic things.
Being retired and NOT. HAVING. TO. WORK.
Which will lead to lots of time for new hobbies.
Mocking young people for not knowing as much as you do about the past.
Also, grossing them out by acting super horny.
Pretending to nod off so you can eavesdrop.
Hearing your kids complain about how hard it is to be a parent.
No longer having to pretend to like anything.
Knowing that just because you're not young anymore doesn't mean you can't live your life to the fullest.
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