1."I walked out to my car and strapped my son into his car seat before I realized that I didn't have pants on."
2."I was so tired I forgot our son's name. I gestured to the monitor and asked my husband, 'How's what's-his-face doing?'"
3."I just added that to the list of bodily fluids I had to clean up that night."
4."I kept trying to open the front door of my house by pressing the unlock button of my car key."
5."I grabbed my husband's crotch — HARD — as he was rolling over because I thought he was the baby about to roll out of bed."
6."I passed out on the couch, then..."
7."When my baby woke up in the middle of the night crying I answered the door thinking it was someone ringing the doorbell."
8."I folded an entire basket of dirty laundry."
9."During my first month as a new mom I texted my husband (who was in bed next to me) to ask him where he was."
10."I filled a sippy with milk and handed it to the dog. When he didn't take it I got annoyed and said, 'Well? Here you go!' It took me a full five seconds to realize he wasn't the 2-year-old."
11."Where's the baby?!"
12."I left the house with my nursing bra on both sides flopped down."
14."After a long night I had to run to the drug store. I sat at a red light for what seemed like forever — I even swore at a car that honked at me — until I realized it wasn't a red light. It was a stop sign."
16."In the middle of the night I tried to change my daughter, but ended up putting a clean diaper on over the dirty one."
17."I had to go a whole day at work like this:"
19."I was so sleep deprived..."
20."Give the baby back his money!"
21."I made coffee without any coffee grinds. It wasn't until the second sip that I realized I was just drinking hot water."
22."I once tried to put on a pull-up instead of underwear after showering. Then I cried when I couldn't get it on."
23."I walked right up to my husband and put our son's pacifier into his mouth."
24."I'd been up two days after coming home from the hospital and realized that I hadn't eaten, so I made frozen waffles — and poured dish soap on them instead of syrup."
25."I kept calling the pediatrician a veterinarian."
26."I tried to hug the guy who came to set up our internet as he was leaving. I was so tired and used to hugging visitors when they left. He looked at me like I was nuts."
27."I finished a full grocery shopping trip, then fastened the baby into her car seat and drove away — leaving all of the groceries in the cart in the parking lot."
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.