Parents

23 Things You’ll Understand If You’re Slightly Obsessed With Michaels

The real happiest place on earth.

1. You feel a surge of adrenaline the second you step inside.

HBO / Via CTV

It doesn’t matter if it’s your fifth visit that weekend. You still feel it.

2. You always start with a basket but end up wishing you’d gotten a cart.

Flickr: 39908901@N06 / Via Creative Commons

Or maybe two carts, tbh.

3. You immediately recognize that familiar “Michaels smell.”

What is that smell? Is it the fake flowers? I’m pretty sure it’s the fake flowers.

4. You’ve definitely struggled to find an employee and wondered if they’re hiding from you.

You promise not to yell at them about coupons if they’ll help you find the right frame.

5. The yarn aisle is the stuff of daydreams.

And you have an overwhelming urge to touch all of the yarn.

6. Speaking of yarn, you always buy way more than you need, but you’re totally OK with that.

You tell yourself you’re going to use them all up before you buy more, lol.

7. And don’t even get you started on the beads.

How awesome are the beads? So awesome that your cat has to see them IRL.

8. You love Pinterest, but recognize it for what it is: a gateway drug.

Bravo

You on Pinterest: “Ooh, I’ll have to go to Michaels for that. And look there. I wonder if they have that at Michaels?”

9. Nothing in your life has made you care about coupons the way Michaels has.

10. Full disclosure: There is stuff you bought months ago still sitting in bags at your home.

Fox

You’re going to get to it, though. You’re 90% — make that 80% — sure of it. Yup, 70% sure of it.

11. You’ve taken a class or five and loved every minute of it.

DIY jewelry making? SIGN. ME. UP!

12. On your birthday you definitely hope you’ll get a gift card or three.

WWE

13. There’s a good chance you’ve had to hide your latest purchases because someone has judged you for buying so much stuff.

Your friend: “What’s that? You need help hiding a body?”
You: “No, I need help hiding stuff I got at Michaels!”

14. You are famous for trying to get your friends to go with you.

Disney

15. But you prefer not to bring your significant other or kids.

First, you don’t want to hear your S.O. whine, “How much longer?” Second, you don’t want to have to deal with your kids touching everything — that’s your job.

16. Few things in life excite you as much as finding an amazing clearance item.

17. You struggle with the fact most people don’t understand your enthusiasm over duck tape.

Them: Isn’t it just tape?
You: I don’t think this relationship is working out anymore.

18. Michaels has enabled you to continue a DIY project or two that would have been best abandoned.

“Well, it was going to be a scarf, but now I’m thinking dress?”

19. It’s the first place you go to prepare for the holidays.

Kids: “It’s almost Christmas! Let’s go to the mall to see Santa!”
You: “Santa? I think you mean Michael!”

20. You have a hard time passing the scrapbooking stickers without checking out every last one.

You might not have scrapbooked since you were a teenager, but…you know…you might start again.

21. When the checkout line is long, you have no patience for the coupon drama of the people ahead of you.

Of course, when you get up there you’ll have coupons too, so…

22. When your stuff is rung up you’re always surprised to discover you spent way more than you thought you did.

JIVE

Oops, you did it again.

23. And lastly, when you’ve been away too long, you start to get that itch.

Universal

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