Let's start with this person, who I'm not saying is definitely going to hell...but I am saying is on the devil's radar.
Then there's this person...who is 100% on the devil's radar, too.
This person is trying to sell a door ram the SWAT team left behind after raiding their home.
And this person is selling — checks notes — a "beautiful" ball sack guitar.
This entrepreneurial young man is willing to let you beat him up in front of your girlfriend — you know, to make you look tough — for $50 on the weekdays, and $60 on the weekend.
This wicked step... Wait, there's no "step." She's just a wicked SISTER who's looking to hire someone to make a mess of her sister's wedding.
And this person in a clearly VERY healthy relationship is looking for someone to pose as a couples therapist.
Then there's this guy who wants to, uh, you know what? Go ahead and look for yourself. I just ate and don't want my lasagna coming back up.
This modern day Thomas Edison is selling THIS amazing invention...and folks, there IS a waitlist.
And this possibly genius inventor — but most likely blitzed out-of-his-mind knucklehead — is willing to sell this "invention."
This person is selling a tennis ball left out in the rain for $50, and you really can't make this stuff up.
This person — who I can only assume is a member in good standing of the Better Business Bureau — is selling gas from the trunk of his car...you know, if he doesn't blow up first.
This professional mourner will cry — or more — at your next family funeral.
And this wife is actually asking $900 for this shitty couch.
This dad is selling a creepy taxidermied deer/doll house which — shocker! — his kids didn't like very much.
This person is selling a brand new chicken suit, but not answering any questions about how they got it.
And this person is selling this "beautiful home-made Pop Tart suit" which they've only worn once...which is really one time too many already.
This person is selling a casket modified into a grill.
This unembarrassed soul is selling his sex doll because — doh! — his wife found it.
This charmer is selling a shoddily-made, seemingly kid-sized cigarette costume.
And this person is trying to unload 10 pallets of Gatorade powder...which I'm sure was acquired entirely on the up and up.