1. "When I was 15, my mom wrote up a contract (banning kissing, chaperone-free dates, and SEX) that my first boyfriend and I had to sign in front of her. She then posted it on our wall at home!"
2. "In high school I had friends over for movie night. We got too loud for my dad who stormed out of his room in nothing but his oversized, stained tighty whities — with his left nut hanging out — and yelled at my friends."
3. "When I was in middle school, my mom went crazy because I had 1000 text messages that month. She went through all the numbers and asked who each person was, then called up one kid and told him, 'Stop texting my daughter!'"
4. "My dad liked to make funny comments when I brought my middle school friends over for dinner. Once, as we were finishing eating, he looked between me and my friends and said, 'So let's talk about your changing bodies.'"
5. "My mom was my Health teacher in high school. Once, she started a 'sex ed' lesson with 'Someday, when you have sex...' then immediately pointed at me and said 'Except you. You're never having sex.'"
6. "My mother once asked my boyfriend if I'd ever given him a boner."
7. "At my middle sister's wedding my dad called my middle sister (the bride) by my baby sister's name and then did the 'Stanky Leg' before the father-daughter dance."
8. "In high school, my friends and I were dying our hair. My mom walked in and said, 'It looks like there's semen in your hair!'"
9. "At my tenth birthday, I chose to take all my friends to my favorite restaurant. When we were ordering drinks my dad told the waitress, 'I'll take a virgin hold the daiquiri.'"
10. "My dad practically yelled 'THAT WOMAN HAS FAKE BOOBS!'"
11. "...after a couple of glasses of wine my mom pulled down her pants..."
12. "My dad decided to jump right in front of them, scream and photobomb their picture."
13. "My mom threatened to hang my underwear from the mailbox if I did it again..."
14. "Before cell phones, my dad would leave these outgoing voicemail messages that were the most..."
15. "She yelled, 'WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME? I'M JUST TRYING TO HAVE FUN LIKE A COOL MOM!!'"
16. "Being an idiot kid, I didn't believe her, but..."
17. "...so my dad shaved his legs..."
18. "My dad was a teacher at my grade school. At a pep rally everyone was going crazy, so he decided to slide across the freshly waxed floor....on his belly. He did this multiple times to the chanting of my entire school."
19. "The movie has a lot of freaky sex in it, and my parents, instead of turning it off..."
20. "Dad thought it would be hilarious to wear my mom's one-piece swimsuit..."
21. "Mom yelled, 'Here are your tampons, honey! I hope they're big enough!'"
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.