1. First off, "drunk me" isn't always your friend:
Drunk me is so determined to embarrass me. I am so good to her, i put her in cute little outfits and and get her ready and what does she do?? She ruins me
2. And don't expect "drunk me" to make normal decisions:
Last night I was dancing with a girl and I told her I needed to pee but instead ran 2 miles home in the middle of the night by myself. Why? Cuz I was nervous and drunk me thought it was a completely normal thing to do.
3. You CAN, however, expect "drunk me" to make bad decisions:
drunk me needs to learn that sober me can’t afford to buy everyone drinks and food
4. Lots of them:
every time i’m drunk my brain’s like “hey u know what would be a GREAT idea?? if you followed this guy you think is hot on instagram and liked a pic from 3 months ago” like can you fucking chill drunk me
5. Also, "drunk me" can't stray too far from the bathroom:
Nobody: Drunk me: “i GoTtA pEe AgAiN yAlL” 🤣🤣🥺🥺🥴🥴🥴
6. On the plus side, "drunk me" has serious game (at least you think they do when you're drunk):
I wish sober me could flirt like drunk me 😂😂😂
7. "Drunk me" has oodles of confidence:
drunk me has the confidence to do literally anything
8. "Drunk me" can socialize:
DRUNK ME IS THE REAL ME WITHOUT SOCIAL ANXIETY
9. "Drunk me" has some boots made for walking:
Alcohol has taught me that when I’m drunk I will walk anywhere. Sober me complains about a 10 min walk but you tell drunk me that I need to walk 2 miles in the pouring rain? BET
10. And "drunk me" can make some pretty A+ purchases you appreciate in the morning:
I am... so in love. drunk me really knows how to online shop for sober me <3
11. BUT...you really shouldn't trust "drunk me" with your money:
drunk me would pay $56 for a vodka cran in a tiny plastic cup
12. Especially when it comes to food:
Some people usually text their exes when they are drunk, me? No, I order over £50 worth of pizza for one person 🙃🙃🙃
13. Like, if you ask me, this guy really needs to find out WHY "drunk me" did this:
drunk me deleted my bank app after checking my balance, idk what he saw but I trust his decision entirely.
14. "Drunk me" likes to TALK:
someone: drunk me: ok FINE I will tell you, unprompted, about every guy i’ve ever loved and every bad thing i’ve ever even contemplated doing
15. And "drunk me" is honest...like RURL honest:
Why is drunk me 10x more honest? I can’t ever keep my mouth shut
16. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing:
drunk me is gonna say some corny shit but just know sober me would mean it
17. But "drunk me" will spill the tea, guaranteed:
drunk me isn’t bad per se she just runs her mouth a bit. i’d compare her to Hagrid whenever he’d spill some tea to Harry Potter and then he’d say “shouldn’t’ve have said that. I should not have said that” yeah that’s me
18. Unfortunately, "drunk me" can be a little belligerent:
Nobody: Drunk me: yeah cause I’ll beat everybody ass
19. "Drunk me" should not send emails:
drunk me |__ | |_________________ proofreadi ng | before i send | somnething | -- ------ ---- | | | 📍SEND
20. And "drunk me" probably shouldn't do too much brainstorming:
drunk me: i will develop the netflix for books, ooo imma be rich sober me: that's a library
21. In the end, though, if "drunk me" messes things up for you, you can always remind people:
If drunk me did something or said something, you gotta take that up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me cuz we weren’t there, we don’t know what happened
Cheers!
