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    Updated on Sep 18, 2019. Posted on Sep 12, 2019

    These Tweets Break The Tough News About What It's Really Like Being 40

    "You look great! You know, for...40."

    Hello, fellow olds! Yesterday you were 20 and standing for hours at concerts and clubs, but're 40 (or older).


    Life is different at 40. How different? Well...

    1. Your metabolism slows:

    Being 40 is great because if I eat whatever I want for two weeks, I look like I'm ready to be floated out to sea.

    2. Your body changes:

    One of my favorite things about being 40 is I can just brush a little nail polish on my nipples, bend ever so slightly and TADA, pedicure.

    3. And your memory doesn't work quite as well:

    Just searched my entire car for a bag of groceries that was slung over my shoulder. So yeah being 40 is going great thanks.

    4. You still feel cool, but, yeah, you're not:

    Being 40 is pretty fun, but I'd have to say the best part is when you try to use new slang and you completely get it wrong.

    5. And trying to prove you're still cool gets harder and harder:

    Being 40 is just a beautiful pendulum of proving to yourself you're still fun, without hurting your back.

    6. The good news is that few of your friends will enable you:

    Being 40 = wanting to make trash life decisions with your friends, but all your friends are already in bed by 10 pm.

    7. And eventually you accept the new you:

    Saturday night, I'm at home drinking decaf coffee listening to Der Kommissar by Falco. Being 40 rocks.

    8. Yes, this is the new you:

    Is it a sign of being 40 that when I think of the summer holiday ahead, I’m mostly looking forward to having time to sort the garage out?

    9. And so is this:

    Being 40 is just loving the fuck outta some tupperware and yawning a lot.

    10. You now only like music from 20 years ago:

    Part of being 40 is not liking a single song in America’s top 40.

    11. And you suddenly cry really easily:

    Being 40 means crying at everything. :/

    12. Your body is like a car with 100,000 miles on it:

    Being 40 is like, you injure your back sneezing, which sucks because it was almost healed from when you coughed in December.

    13. And when you try to do something about it, your "forty-ness" betrays you:

    Being 40 means having to tape your ankles when you run, then putting on your shoes and realizing you forgot to tape your ankles, then thinking, "it will be fine," then running, then spending the rest of the night wishing you would have taped your ankles.

    14. There's nothing worse than hearing this (unless you DON'T hear it, which is definitely worse):

    welcome to backhanded compliment club, u look so good for being 40

    15. But regardless of what the youths say about your appearance, your friends will have your back:

    Being 40 is all about talking to your other 40 year old friends about how none of you feel like you look 40.

    16. Sex is still part of your life, but it's, uh, different:

    Being 40 means that sometimes you’ll get so fucking horny that you go to sleep.

    17. And sometimes it has to take a backseat to the new you:

    I just had to take the batteries out of vibrator and put them in my heating pad. Fuck I love being 40!

    18. But hey, at least you can have a little fun with being older:

    Walked into a bar packed wall to wall with 21 year olds and my friend abruptly shouted "I'm looking for my son? He's supposed to be studying?" and now I love being 40.

    19. And, as different as things are at 40, the good news is that it's absolutely nothing like what this 8-year-old imagines it to be:

    really into this 8-year-old's conception of what being 40 would be like

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