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    19 “Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk” Tweets You Will Either Love Or Hate

    They're like real TED Talks but shorter and funnier.

    1. "How to speak correctly."

    if I can comfortably watch your videos in 2x speed then you talk way too slowly. thanks for coming to my ted talk

    2. "What you know about Medusa is wrong!"

    medusa WASN’T a monster she was raped by poseidon and then blamed for her own rape by athena who then turned her into a gorgon as punishment the real monsters are poseidon and athena thx for coming to my ted talk

    3. "The incredible secret of uninteresting people."

    4. "The surprising way to spot a dog."

    Any guy who tells you he is not like other guys is the leader of the other guys. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

    5. "The truth about Ariana Grande."

    imagine ariana grande aging.....exactly. you can’t. and that’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that she is...*drum roll*...immortal. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

    6. "The dark truth about your lunch order."

    Chips are never an appropriate substitute for French fries. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

    7. "How your Twitter poll is a load of crap."

    if you were “trying to prove a point” you would use an actual poll and not “like for yes, rt for no” bc everyone knows that whatever is the “like” option will win bc nobody wants to commit to rting thank you for attending my ted talk

    8. "My sudden realization about pronouns."

    If "guys" is gender neutral, then so is "sis" thanks for coming to my ted talk.

    9. "Where does Abba exist?"

    The real question is do Abba exist in the Mamma Mia universe or do they live in a world where they believe the music they are singing is created by Meryl Streep and if this is true then has Eurovision ever happened please come to my TED talk.

    10. "What is an athlete?"

    If a video gamer is considered an athlete then there should be no debate about cheerleaders or dancers being answered. Welcome to my Ted Talk

    11. "Why your perception of 'September' is wrong."

    12. "How not to embarrass yourself at Indian restaurants."

    naan bread means "bread bread" just say naan or bread or cancel brexit thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

    13. "The secret to working effectively."

    Most meetings could be calls. Most calls could be emails. Most of us could work effectively with limited human interaction and have a truly wonderful life. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, no Q+A because see above.

    14. "The power of substitutions."

    I shouldn’t have to pay extra for avocado if I’m not getting meat or cheese thanks for coming to my ted talk

    15. "The tragedy of Devil Wears Prada."

    She could've had it ALL if it weren't for her trash ass unsupportive boyfriend, Nate. He was so intimidated by her growth that he pressured her into choosing a shitty life for herself?? Throw the whole relationship away. She deserved sm better. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

    16. "How to understand abbreviations."

    PSA apt = apartment appt = appointment thanks for coming to my ted talk

    17. "How to use emojis successfully."

    emojis that should only be used ironically: 🤠 🤧 😩 🤑 😜 😤 😪 🤤 😷 😔 thank you for coming to my ted talk

    18. "Day drinking can be necessary. Believe me, I do it."

    day drinking on a family trip doesn’t even count as day drinking it’s just a survival tool thx for coming to my ted talk

    19. "What Shrek teaches us about dating."

    Shrek is a cautionary tale about how dating ugly, musty men because “it’s what’s on the inside that counts” will make you ugly and musty as well thank you for coming to my ted talk