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19 Awkward Pregnancy Stories That Will Make You Say, "Ugh"

"I was pregnant AF when I..."

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3. "I was pregnant AF and went to buy lunch at a nearby supermarket."


"They had a sample bowl of chips out that you’re only supposed to take one from and move on. But not me. I was so hungry I stood there and wolfed down half the bowl. When I saw the shop assistant judging the shit out of me, I thought I’d better go, but as I turned to leave my ginormous belly knocked over the bowl, breaking it and sending chips everywhere. I just mouthed ‘sorry’ and ran away."



4. "I threw up in the aisle of a department store. I was so embarrassed that I began to rush toward the exit…causing me to get stopped and have my purse searched. They thought I was running out of there so fast because I'd shoplifted something!"

5. "I'm eight months pregnant and two nights ago I dreamed that my husband was being really mean to me. Still asleep, I reached over and slapped him. I felt so sorry afterwards, but my dream was so vivid."

6. "One time at an OB appointment the doctor was literally between my legs, about to examine my lady parts, when she said, 'Well, you smell wonderful.'”


"She meant THE LOTION ON MY LEGS, but obviously it sounded like she was saying my vagina smelled wonderful. My husband couldn’t stop laughing and the doctor — realizing how it sounded — was so embarrassed. I never saw her again because after that she asked not to see me anymore!"



8. "I was having my membrane stripped for the second time at 39 weeks and it hurt terribly, so I was all tensed up. When the doctor pulled his fingers out I relaxed and farted very loudly directly into his face. He jumped out of the way."

9. "I was eight and a half months pregnant when I went to get up from my lounge and thought my water broke."

Flickr: achi / Via Creative Commons

"I told my parents and in-laws to be on standby because I thought the baby was coming, then went to the hospital to learn I'd just wet myself. I had to call my parents and in-laws to tell them, 'No, the baby wasn't coming, I just couldn’t control my bladder.' Awesome!"


10. "I was buying groceries and didn’t realize how large my belly was until my son — from INSIDE MY WOMB — kicked so hard he knocked over a bottle of soy sauce on the conveyor belt. It, of course, hit the metal portion just right and busted all over the place."


12. "When I was about six months pregnant a little girl came running up to me at the mall and asked why my belly was so big."

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"I told her I was having a baby just as her dad came over to grab her. She then turned to him and said, 'This lady has a big tummy because she's having a baby. Daddy, you have a big tummy. Are you having a baby too?' He looked humiliated! I just walked away trying not to laugh."


13. "I was teaching high school when, while writing on the whiteboard, I dropped my dry-erase marker. When I went to pick it up I let out the biggest fart of my life. The whole class started laughing. I've never been so embarrassed."

14. "A pregnant friend of mine was walking out of the DMV when a man pulled up next to her and asked, ‘Is it crowded in there?'"

Flickr: biancamontanophotography / Via Creative Commons

"Thinking he meant 'in her stomach,' she went off on him for calling a pregnant woman fat. She screamed for like five minutes and started crying. He then said, 'I meant in the DMV.' She still cringes when someone tells that story."


15. "I sobbed and bawled and sobbed some more at a funeral for someone I'd never even met. It was my husband’s friend’s grandfather. Thankfully we were in the balcony so not too many people saw me. But still — thanks, hormones."


16. "In the first trimester I had horrible constipation..."


"I was so relieved when I was finally able to go — until I tried to flush and it wouldn’t go down. It was so impacted and big that the toilet couldn’t handle it. My poor husband had to cut it into pieces with a plastic knife to get it to go down. I cried the entire time because I felt so bad for him."


18. "I was almost nine months pregnant and giant. I was voted as the one to get the food during a baseball game. So as I was carrying a pretzel, hot dog, popcorn, and ice cream, they put me up on the Jumbotron — a very large pregnant woman on the Jumbotron carrying all that food. Nobody was going to buy that it wasn’t all for me!"

19. "Hormones made me have uncontrollable giggles for most of my pregnancy."

Flickr: peterme / Via Creative Commons

"Near the end, my husband and I attended a birthing class. When the instructor whipped out a model of a pelvis with a baby doll coming out of the bottom, I lost it. I tried to hold in my giggles but they got louder and louder. When the room of 40 people turned to look at me, I just got up and ran out with tears of laughter running down my cheeks. My husband said they all thought I was crying because of being overwhelmed with it all! I've never have been so embarrassed in my life."


Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.