19 Awkward Pregnancy Stories That Will Make You Say, "Ugh"
"I was pregnant AF when I..."
1. "I threw up at work into my office trash can while simultaneously peeing my pants. I had to walk out with a co-worker's sweater tied around my waist. He told me to 'keep it.'”
2. "The nurse who checked my cervix was the girl my high school sweetheart of three years left me for."
3. "I was pregnant AF and went to buy lunch at a nearby supermarket."
4. "I threw up in the aisle of a department store. I was so embarrassed that I began to rush toward the exit…causing me to get stopped and have my purse searched. They thought I was running out of there so fast because I'd shoplifted something!"
5. "I'm eight months pregnant and two nights ago I dreamed that my husband was being really mean to me. Still asleep, I reached over and slapped him. I felt so sorry afterwards, but my dream was so vivid."
6. "One time at an OB appointment the doctor was literally between my legs, about to examine my lady parts, when she said, 'Well, you smell wonderful.'”
7. "I was dropping my daughter off at daycare when a gust of wind blew my dress over my head, showing the entire parking lot my big belly and polka-dot granny panties!"
8. "I was having my membrane stripped for the second time at 39 weeks and it hurt terribly, so I was all tensed up. When the doctor pulled his fingers out I relaxed and farted very loudly directly into his face. He jumped out of the way."
9. "I was eight and a half months pregnant when I went to get up from my lounge and thought my water broke."
10. "I was buying groceries and didn’t realize how large my belly was until my son — from INSIDE MY WOMB — kicked so hard he knocked over a bottle of soy sauce on the conveyor belt. It, of course, hit the metal portion just right and busted all over the place."
11. "My pregnant aunt felt herself about to trip, so to protect the baby she did a somersault. My uncle was like, 'What the heck are you doing?'"
12. "When I was about six months pregnant a little girl came running up to me at the mall and asked why my belly was so big."
13. "I was teaching high school when, while writing on the whiteboard, I dropped my dry-erase marker. When I went to pick it up I let out the biggest fart of my life. The whole class started laughing. I've never been so embarrassed."
14. "A pregnant friend of mine was walking out of the DMV when a man pulled up next to her and asked, ‘Is it crowded in there?'"
15. "I sobbed and bawled and sobbed some more at a funeral for someone I'd never even met. It was my husband’s friend’s grandfather. Thankfully we were in the balcony so not too many people saw me. But still — thanks, hormones."
16. "In the first trimester I had horrible constipation..."
17. "I puked ALL over a stranger on the subway in Manhattan because he had obviously just gone for a run without deodorant. I felt awful but he just smelled so damn bad."
18. "I was almost nine months pregnant and giant. I was voted as the one to get the food during a baseball game. So as I was carrying a pretzel, hot dog, popcorn, and ice cream, they put me up on the Jumbotron — a very large pregnant woman on the Jumbotron carrying all that food. Nobody was going to buy that it wasn’t all for me!"
19. "Hormones made me have uncontrollable giggles for most of my pregnancy."
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.