1.
Can anyone recommend a good wine that pairs well with a teenager's shitty attitude?
2.
Stay tuned for my next book all about raising a teenager that will be entitled, "I don't know what time it starts or where I'm going or who's going to be there and I'm annoyed you're so concerned over minor details".
3.
Raising Teenagers: a short film
4.
"My stomach hurts" is teenager for "I have a test in geometry"
5.
How is it that my teenager feels free to scroll through my phone, check out my entire camera roll and read every last one of my text messages, but has a literal stroke if I make eye contact with her lock screen?
6.
Be kind to the people you meet... you never know who’s raising a teenager
7.
A fun thing about having teens is how they text you from school to tell you they don't like their lunch.
8.
Me: Will you empty the dishwasher please? My teenager: I’m good Me:Thank you My teenager: That actually means No....that’s how my generation talks Me: Lets try this again, Empty the fecking dishwasher or you’ll get my foot up your arse , That’s how MY generation talks #IrishMom
9.
Apparently quality time with my teenager in 2019 is mostly just looking at awful Instagram memes and saying, "Mmm hehe ok"
10.
Having a 15 year old son has really turned me into a boring asshole, apparently
11.
At least 40% of raising a teenager is arguing about wearing jackets and coats.
12.
Raising teenagers: a comedy. 17: "Mom how do I cut that ball salad?" Me: "1:Is it for a sandwich? Because that is a cabbage. 2: you have to cut it in half first" 17: "It tastes green" Me: " yes. Raw cabbage" 17: *makes himself a raw cabbage and ham sandwich*
13.
My teenager just unloaded the dishwasher without being asked. She’s either done something wrong or it’s the goddamned apocalypse.
14.
Baby giraffes can walk right after birth. My kids are teens and still can't pour a drink without spilling it.
15.
The look of boredom on my teenager’s face when I ask him to do anything for me. Yeah I was bored when I was in labour for days too but it got much more exciting when they cut me open because you were asleep and decided to disengage. HAPPY DAYS.
16.
Raising a teenager: 3:30 pm: Mom, when will you take a break from work to love me? You’ve been working all day. 3:31 pm: When are you going back to work? I have YouTube videos to watch.
17.
Raising teenagers is having to ask them a thousand times to complete a simple task thereby taking years off your life in the process.
18.
Raising teenagers is like trying to fish a contact lens out of your eye when you're drunk.
19.
Do’s and Don’ts when raising a teenager: Don’t: *Act excited when you see them *Ask them how their day was *Make any jokes... they will never be funny *Expect any form of affection *Sing out loud when driving *Expect them to tell you that they love you Do: *Love them anyway