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18 Tips To Getting The Perfect Dadbod According To A Real Dad

You don't just get a #dadbod by doing nothing.

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Recently, Mackenzie Pearson’s essay, "Why Girls Love The Dad Bod," shone a light on how the "dadbod" is quickly becoming the male ideal.

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Men everywhere are asking, "How can I too get a dadbod?" Luckily for them, I'm here to help!

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As an actual dad, I can share the secrets to getting an authentic-looking — and incredibly sexy — dadbod. So gather 'round, boys. You're about to go to school!

1. Attend two to three children’s birthday parties per month.

While there do like the dads do and have a slice of sheet cake... or three.
Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed

While there do like the dads do and have a slice of sheet cake... or three.

2. Set this reminder three or four times per day.

This will simulate the repeated pleas of actual children.
Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed

This will simulate the repeated pleas of actual children.

3. You should also set this reminder for the time you generally go to the gym.

Simulating a partner is also a great help in cultivating an enviable dadbod.
Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed

Simulating a partner is also a great help in cultivating an enviable dadbod.

4. Start to mainly go to see kids movies like Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.

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You'll find that in order to sit through these masterpieces you'll need a tub of popcorn (and maybe a hot dog and some Milk Duds).

5. Simulate how kids wake their dads in the night by setting your alarm to go off five or six times as you sleep.

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If you can still get up bright and early to go to the gym, great! But if you can't, take heart in knowing you're just working on your dadbod.

6. Train yourself to look down on dads who are in shape by telling yourself they must be crappy dads who let their partners do all the work at home.

This probably isn't true, but you’re not going to get a #dadbod by trying to emulate those guys.
Jason Merritt / Getty Images

This probably isn't true, but you’re not going to get a #dadbod by trying to emulate those guys.

7. Instead, look up to dads who have gained a few pounds and own it.

Every guy who wants a dadbod needs a role model. Find your personal hero, like the rotund stallion above.
Flickr: christopherbrown / Via Creative Commons

Every guy who wants a dadbod needs a role model. Find your personal hero, like the rotund stallion above.

8. When eating out, pretend you're with a child and order a plate of mac and cheese in addition to your own food.

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Give in to the temptation to eat half of it (which is generally how much a kid will leave on their plate).

9. If possible, hire someone to spoon feed that cheesy manna from heaven directly into your mouth.

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10. Play hide-and-seek with a roommate or friend after work.

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Afterward, convince yourself it was basically the same thing as hitting the gym.

11. Make a rule that you can only watch adult programming after 9 or 10 p.m.

Real dads watch their crime shows after the kids are asleep, which keeps them up late. This makes it harder to get up to work out, but if you're after a dadbod that's a good thing!
Flickr: exalthim / Via Creative Commons

Real dads watch their crime shows after the kids are asleep, which keeps them up late. This makes it harder to get up to work out, but if you're after a dadbod that's a good thing!

12. Go shopping for some epic dad clothes.

A closet full of sweat pants, baggy jeans, and sweaters will help you feel comfortable and confident as you transition into your new, beautiful body.
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A closet full of sweat pants, baggy jeans, and sweaters will help you feel comfortable and confident as you transition into your new, beautiful body.

13. Slow your metabolism by skipping meals, taking naps, and eating complex carbohydrates.

Dad metabolism tends to be slower because of regular, ol' garden variety aging, but the good news is that there are things you can do to make your metabolism dad-esque no matter how old you are!
Przemyslaw Rzeszutko / Getty Images

Dad metabolism tends to be slower because of regular, ol' garden variety aging, but the good news is that there are things you can do to make your metabolism dad-esque no matter how old you are!

14. Hire someone to trail you at the supermarket and beg for junk food.

This person should also toss as many cookies and candies into the cart as possible when you're not looking.
Flickr: jlarnos / Via Creative Commons

This person should also toss as many cookies and candies into the cart as possible when you're not looking.

15. If eating salads is a part of how you keep fit, start eating salads at kid-friendly places like Chuck E. Cheese's.

These soggy, two-day-old, lettuce-filled salads will destroy your taste for the healthy stuff and drive you into the arms of pizza.
Flickr: abbybatchelder / Via Creative Commons

These soggy, two-day-old, lettuce-filled salads will destroy your taste for the healthy stuff and drive you into the arms of pizza.

16. Stock your home with candy at every single holiday.

Real dads dip into their kid's Halloween candy late at night, munch on their kid's leftover chocolate bunnies at Easter, and tuck into as many candy hearts as they can on Valentine's Day. You must too if you hope to look like one of them!
Flickr: pleeker / Via Creative Commons

Real dads dip into their kid's Halloween candy late at night, munch on their kid's leftover chocolate bunnies at Easter, and tuck into as many candy hearts as they can on Valentine's Day. You must too if you hope to look like one of them!

17. Never forget that the dadbod isn't just a look, it's an attitude.

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You don't just look good, you know you do.

18. Become an actual dad.

This is definitely the hardest way to get a dadbod, but without a doubt the most rewarding... and if it makes you jaw-droppingly sexy too, all the better!
Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed / Via Creative Commons

This is definitely the hardest way to get a dadbod, but without a doubt the most rewarding... and if it makes you jaw-droppingly sexy too, all the better!

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