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Posted on May 25, 2016

17 Weird Things You Probably Saved If You're A Parent

You're not alone, but you are weird.

1. Baby teeth

Flickr: rossaroni / Via Creative Commons

If you have a box full of these it's either because you're a serial killer or a parent.

2. Pregnancy tests

Flickr: esparta / Via Creative Commons

These may have captured the moment you learned you were going to become a parent, but they're also sticks soaked in pee.

3. The umbilical stump

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"Mom! Thank you so much for saving this!" —No kid ever

4. Bad kid art

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Keeping your kid's best art makes sense, but you know you've also got a "masterpiece" like the one above somewhere in your archives. Why?

5. Poorly made school crafts

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You've gone above and beyond the call of duty for saving this craft clearly made on "Disinterested Crafting With Yarn Day."

6. Locks of hair

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It is nice to be able to once again see your kid's cute baby locks, but let's be honest — keeping them feels a little creepy.

7. Stained bibs

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"But wait!" you're thinking. "If I throw this out how will I ever remember the day my kid lost the war against a jelly doughnut?"

8. Pacifiers

Flickr: toddlerism

Cute? Yes. But they're still pieces of plastic your kid sucked on for years.

9. Broken toys

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Saving your kid's favorite childhood toys is understandable, but the broken toys your kid probably played with one afternoon? Not so much.

10. Rectal thermometer

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OK, you might not have saved this, but it's still under your sink, isn't it?

11. Nail clippings

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Let me guess — you keep these because cutting them was so scary you want a memento of the accomplishment, amirite?

12. Casts

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You may say, "Hey, my kid drew cute stuff on it!" but that doesn't change the fact that it's still a smelly, cracked-open bit of plaster.

13. Maternity clothes

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Those altered maternity jeans are no longer wearable — and you're not going to be pregnant again — but yet there they are, gathering dust in your closet.

14. Rocks

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Your kid picked these up on your trip to Oregon. Or was it the trip to Lake Tahoe? Or, er, maybe they're from your backyard? You're not sure anymore, but you've got a box of them anyway.

15. Baby bottles

Flickr: dq090702 / Via Creative Commons

These are yellowing, mildewy, and still stashed away somewhere in your kitchen, aren't they?

16. Breast milk

etsy.com

OK, so you probably didn't do this one. But a lot of moms do have jewelry made with their preserved breast milk inside. Hey, it makes for a memorable cocktail party anecdote.

17. Things that were thrown up on

Flickr: 16231283@N08 / Via Creative Commons

Yes, it was the blanket you wrapped your baby in, but it also still smells like puke. Blech.

Parenting Week is a week of content devoted to honoring the hardest job you'll ever love, being a parent. Check out more great Parenting Week content here.

Andrew Richard

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