1. When you become a parent everyone wants to give you parenting advice — and that includes your in-laws:
I don't know why my in-laws feel qualified to give me parenting advice. After all, I live with the results of their efforts and it's nothing to brag about.
2. It also includes people on Twitter, but you probably should be skeptical about their advice:
Thanks Twitter, but if I wanted unsolicited parenting advice, I would start a conversation with my MIL.
3. Make that VERY skeptical:
your parenting advice between your ass eating tweets really inspire me
4. You'll hear a lot of bad advice:
Y'all be on here like "mY bAbY's dR sAiD iT's Ok To [insert shitty parenting advice here]" Like ?? ... sounds like you need to find a better doctor, but ok
5. And you'll hear a lot of unsolicited advice from non-parents too:
I’d rather have a voluntary colonoscopy than listen to unsolicited parenting advice from someone who doesn’t have kids.
6. You should be sure to write ALL of it down carefully, LOL:
Anytime anyone without kids tries to give me parenting advice
7. Despite this barrage of advice, you will likely have a very exclusive list of people you'll actually listen to:
The only person I’ll accept parenting advice from is Lauren Graham in character as Lorelai Gilmore.
8. Thankfully most non-parents realize they're out of their element:
"Have you tried giving it a treat?" - me offering parenting advice
9. And honestly, some parents COULD probably stand to listen to more advice:
I love when people that don't have kids give parenting advice, "Don't carry your baby upside down, your 11yo shouldn't be driving, don't give your 6yo matches for their birthday." No one asked you, Paul.
10. You'll probably find your favorite parents are the ones who recognize they should NOT be giving advice:
Never take parenting advice from me. Toddler currently in bed whispering to herself, “oh dammit. oh shit. oh dammit. oh shit,” in an endless loop.
11. Like, you'd probably enjoy a playdate with this mom:
I just told my toddler, “I’m the Mommy, not you” in case you need any parenting advice.
12. Or this mom, who admits she doesn't know much, but she knows one thing:
I don’t have much parenting advice, but I can tell you that 90% of lost library books are between the bed and the wall.
13. Also likable? The parents who share advice that doesn't make them look like perfect parents:
Train your kids to call junk food names of vegetables so you can fool people into thinking you're killing it at parenting. Example: Potato chips are now called "broccoli" This terrible advice is brought to you by my average parenting skills and awesome street smarts.
14. Gotta love this dad and his baby naming advice, for example:
Coworker: Oh man, my kids due in a few weeks, any advice for me? Me: We decided we should have named them "Whatthefuck" and "Nononono" because we say that more than their actual names. EC: uh.... Me: Yeah. Strap in motherfucker; this shit's a RIDE. #dadlife #parenting
15. And this mom whose advice doesn't sugarcoat things:
*giving my sister parenting advice* Me: So, you lift them like this. Sister: Okay. M: Then, scream into it. Now you try. S: [picks up pillow]
16. Look, this is the kind of practical advice you'll need:
Let me give some parenting advice. If your kids are fighting somewhere...let them try to work it out until it impairs your ability to be on your phone.
17. In the end, there are no perfect parents, so if everyone's know-it-all parenting advice makes you laugh, well that's TOTALLY FINE:
I read some parenting advice that basically said "remind yourself to purposefully make mistakes around you children so they know it's ok to not be perfect" and I had to laugh because like "remind" myself to "purposefully" make mistakes???? I'm a walking mistake lmao
Think parenting advice is bad now? Then you need to hear the unbelievable advice parents were actually doling out in the 1910s:
