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17 Things Parents Would Only Admit To Doing Under Oath

Yes, you're weird. But you're not alone.

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1. You've pretended you didn’t smell the stank coming off your kid's dirty diaper to avoid having to change it.


5. Ordered your toddler food at a restaurant just so you could get a little mac 'n' cheese.

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Would your toddler have been fine just grazing off your plate? Of course! But that way isn't nearly as fun...for you.


8. Looked back at photos of your newborn years later and thought, “Huh, they weren’t nearly as cute as I remember."


Hey, your kid is definitely cute. Now. But in those first photos — minutes fresh from having been crammed in an amniotic sac for nine months — they were still coming into their own.

11. Lied to your babysitter about your kid's bedtime.


“Her bedtime? It’s, uh, 7:30 like a normal kid her age. But tonight it’s OK if she stays up until 8. Or even 9. Yeah.”


15. Lightly traumatized your kid by showing them one of your favorite movies before they were ready.


You at the start: “Kiddo, you’re going to love Ghostbusters!”

You, a little later: “Shit! I forgot about the scene where the ghost gives Dan Aykroyd a blow job! Where’s the remote?”


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