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17 Things Parents Do That Confuse The Fuck Out Of Everyone Else

Kids can change a person.

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1. When we suck snot out of our kids' noses.

fridababy / Via

It may look disgusting, but the SnotSucker works wonders, and when your baby is sick you'll do anything. Plus, the gross stuff doesn't end up in your mouth. It gets caught in a filter.

2. When we tell people our babies' ages in months instead of years.

Twitter: @MikeAdamOnAir

It'd be weird if were saying our kids were, like, 58 months old, but babies change rapidly, so 14 months is very different than 15 months. Plus, if we said one and a quarter we'd be made fun of for that, too, so months it is!


5. Why we carry around so much stuff in our purses and the back of our cars.

denizoonh / Via

Believe me, you want us to carry giant bags or have messy AF cars so that when our kids freak out about needing something, we've got it — and you don't have to listen to a glass-shattering tantrum.

7. When we throw out our kids' artwork.


We don't throw ALL of it out. We keep the special stuff, but kids draw and make things all day long. We'd prefer not to have to rent a storage space to house thousands of scribbled-on pieces of paper.

8. When we post "Happy birthday to you!" updates on Facebook to our kids who aren’t old enough to be on Facebook. Or to read.

Twitter: @kbsmoke

We're just celebrating our kiddo's milestone with our friends and family. Besides, I recently saw someone put up a "Congrats on the twins, Beyoncé!" post, and I'm pretty sure she didn't see it.


10. When we act like we were total goodie two-shoes when we were younger.


We're trying not to give our kid opposition research on us. If we tell them we got in trouble as a kid, every time they act up they'll be like, "But YOU got in trouble, too!"

11. When we talk to our babies on the phone.

Twitter: @myhairisblue

We know they can't understand us. But we miss them when we're away, so hearing their cooing is nice. Plus they like to hear our voices. We think. It's also possible they're freaked out because they think we're trapped in the phone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

12. When we have legit conversations with other parents about TV shows meant for toddlers.


Get forced to watch enough of anything (like parents are forced to watch kid shows) and you develop opinions.


14. When we force frightened kids to take photos with Santa and the Easter Bunny.

Flickr: meesterdickey / Via Creative Commons

Usually kids WANT to meet Santa or the Easter Bunny until right before you get to the front of the line — after waiting 45 minutes. Well, sorry, kid. After 45 minutes we're getting the photo.

16. When we eat the nasty, picked-over food off our kid's plates.

zzlm07 / Via

Parents often finish meals less than satisfied because they were making sure their kids are A) eating, and B) not making a scene/acting up. So eating a half-eaten nugget or two is more appealing to us than you. Plus, we have the same germs.