Everyone on this great big world has a name, and in life you meet people with beautiful names, boring names, and — most memorably — names that are downright ridiculous.
Yesterday all-around funny person @Fred_Delicious asked his Twitter followers to share the most ridiculous names they've ever encountered IRL — and gave an example of someone he knew with a name uncomfortably close to "talcum powder."
What is the most ridiculous name you’ve ever come across in real life? I once met a kid who swore blind his friend’s dad was called Malcolm Powder
Did people have names? Oh, my yes, they had names:
1. There was the T-mobile guy with the rhyming name:
2. And this rhyming name that will make you hungry:
@Fred_Delicious Had a neighbor as a kid named Macon Bacon.
3. Speaking of names that'll make you hungry:
@thepunningman @Fred_Delicious I was once sitting in a hospital waiting area and the receptionist called out for Jan Sandwich
4. This one'll make you hungry for breadsticks:
@Fred_Delicious Recently discovered someone in my program named.... Olive Gardner
5. And this one'll (maybe?) make you crave meat:
@Fred_Delicious went to school with someone called Precious Salami
6. There was this ridiculously (or is that perfectly?) named eye doctor:
7. And this one:
8. There were names that sound a tad familiar:
@Fred_Delicious When I was in my early 20’s I worked at a gas station and a man paid with his credit card so I needed to check his ID. His name was Ronald McDonald and I laughed in his face. He was not as happy as the food clown one.
9. And names that make you wonder if their parents were in on the joke:
@emmcgoobz @awkwardstickman @ednewmy @mrsbiltawulf @Fred_Delicious I once served a customer named Robin Batman. I had to hold my shit together for that one.
10. Like, YOU KNOW this woman's dad named her because her name is a literal dad joke:
@Fred_Delicious My father in law’s neighbour is called Cherry Pi. My dad’s cousin’s first name is Toggleabufnot. And I knew two brothers called Chris and Drew Peacock.
11. Ditto for this one:
@Fred_Delicious I met a Paige Turner once 🤷♀️
12. There's this bar patron who I pray orders pricey wine:
@Fred_Delicious Regular at my bars name is Rich Grape which is amusing because he is neither well off nor produce
13. This winter wonder:
@Fred_Delicious My husband has a friend called Robert Sleigh, he likes to be called Bob Sleigh, this is 💯% true 😀
14. This name that gives Dick Butkus a run for his money:
@Fred_Delicious I once had a weird job digitizing score sheets for a deer hunting trophy (antlers) record book and one of the record holders was a gent named Dick Masterpole. I'll never forget that.
15. And then a number of names that just sound incredibly silly:
@Fred_Delicious My bestie once sold on online course to a Mr Selvin Piebags who lived at Unicorn Lane and honestly, it was at least 7yrs ago and I still laugh
16. Like this one:
@Fred_Delicious I placed in a poetry competition in middle school and the woman who ran the competition was named Pegasus Buchanan.
17. And definitely this one:
@Fred_Delicious While working at a call center, my brother once spoke to a "Charity Hamjack."
Basically every time one of these poor people tell someone their name:
