A viral Reddit thread recently asked parents to share a lesson they tried to teach their kids that COMPLETELY BACKFIRED. Their answers were very funny and very relatable:
1. "My parents taught me to call 9-1-1 when I saw somebody doing something illegal. I called the cops on The Wiggles Movie I was watching when I was 5 because a clown stole a cake."
2. "My sister tried to teach her kids not to gamble, so she bought a few lottery tickets to show them that they were all going to be losers. She won $500."
3. "One of my 5-year-old twins was still having accidents because she'd get so caught up doing things that she'd pee her pants. To combat this, we began giving her a prize when she didn't have an accident. This caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes too."
4. "My nephew hated smiling, so in pictures my dad would tell him to say 'whiskey.' When he tried saying 'cheese' it wasn't the same. Anyway, at school the principal was taking a picture of the class and told everyone to say 'cheeeeese!' My nephew shouted, 'WHISKEEEY!'"
5. "Taught my daughter that whining and begging doesn't get her what she wants. She needs to make a logical argument. I now live with a 12-year-old lawyer who is really good at making me change my mind on house rules."
6. "My kids were begging for a pet. I told them if they could keep their rooms clean for six months, they could get one. My youngest proceeded to clean his room, move clothes and a sleeping bag into the hallway, then lock his door so his room couldn't get dirty as he slept in the hallway."
7. "I taught my kids to stand up for what they believe in. All of a sudden they believed veggies were the devil and that bedtimes should be abolished."
8. "Told my children they should always have a good reason for what they want to do as a way to curb impulsive behavior. I now hear about ALL THE REASONS constantly."
9. "I read a book that suggested you ask your kid what an appropriate punishment for misbehaving would be and then carry it out. My 6-year-old son pinched his brother, so we asked him what an appropriate punishment would be. He said, 'Pluck out my eyeballs and throw me over a cliff.' We didn't carry it out."
10. "I've been teaching my kids that life isn't always fair. Recently, I was playing Tic-Tac-Toe with my youngest when she covered up the column she wanted to use to win. When I told her I didn't want to play if she was going to cheat, she replied, 'Life isn't fair, momma.'"
11. "When I was little my family was at an Angels game. My mother went to the restroom and left me with my dad. I wandered off and was eventually found halfway around the stadium."
12. "I taught my 4-year-old to always compliment people who insult you. Later, we were helping my mother shop for a bathing suit when a woman said something rude to her. My kid squeezed out from behind me and told the woman, 'Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!'"
13. "Taught my toddler how to go up stairs, but I didn't realize that going down stairs was, in fact, a completely different and far more dangerous skill. Lucky for us, the kid seems to have finally grasped the finer points of head protection."
14. "My aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousins to address adults as 'Mr.' and 'Mrs.' In order to do this, they used each other as examples, and consequently were known to their kids as Mr. and Mrs. Iannuccilli for two months."
"One of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of hearing ‘Dad’ he started hearing, ‘Mr Iannuccilli!’ Cracks me up every time."
15. "Not a parent, but when I was little I noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls with crayon. Taking on the role of Helpful Big Sister, I informed her that if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn't write her name and give herself away. A few weeks later she carved patterns — and MY name — into the desk in the study."
16. "Successfully taught my child to question authority. Forgot I was an authority."
17. "My parents did the thing where they gave 4-year-old me a sip of beer thinking I'd say it was yucky and they could turn it into some lesson about not drinking what Mommy and Daddy drink. Instead, I took a sip and said, 'Mmm! Can I have one?' The lesson that beer is good has lasted to adulthood."
Note: Responses have been edited for length and clarity.