16 Times You're Not The Person Your Kids Think You Are

    Your kids are on a need to know basis.

    1. You're a stickler for insisting that your kids always brush before bed...

    ...but you’ve been known to wake up on the couch at 3 a.m. after a Netflix binge and flop into bed without brushing.

    2. You advise your kids not to get wrapped up in silly teenage romance...

    ...but you didn't quite heed that advice when you were their age.

    3. You go on and on to your kids about how they should eat their veggies…

    ...but you can't even spell broccoli.

    4. Your kids think you're an amazing driver...

    ...but the police have an altogether different opinion.

    5. You've told your kids over and over that they should always tell the truth...

    ...but they'd have questions if they saw some of your Evite responses.

    6. You've gone off about how your kid must ALWAYS answer their phone when you call...

    ...but you have yet to return the last three voicemails from your parents.

    7. You're like a broken record when it comes to telling your kids the importance of studying...

    ...but if your kids could pull a Back To The Future, they'd find you didn't always value studying quite as much.

    8. Your kids think you possess almost super human strength...

    ...but not everyone at the gym is as impressed.

    9. Your kids think there's nothing you can't do...

    ...but they've never watched you do your taxes.

    10. You've made it clear to your kids that eating sweets before bed is a no-no...

    ...but it's a different story after they've gone to sleep.

    11. Your kids make you feel like a culinary God when you cook...

    ...but you wouldn't last five minutes on Hell's Kitchen.

    12. Your kids think you have a beautiful voice and ask you to sing them a lullaby at bedtime...

    ...but the guy waiting next to you at the stoplight has a different opinion.

    13. You're always after your kids to clean their room and NOT just cram their stuff into the closet...

    ...but then there's your garage.

    14. Your kids think you're freaking hysterical...

    ...but if they were able to stay up past 11:30 p.m. they'd realize your best shtick has been cribbed from Saturday Night Live.

    15. Your kids are used to you saying, "When I was your age we went outside to play!" over and over...

    ...but if they ever find this in the attic you're out of luck.

    16. Your kids know it's important to you that they're nice to everyone...

    ...but let's just say you have your days.