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    16 Times You're Not The Person Your Kids Think You Are

    Your kids are on a need to know basis.

    1. You're a stickler for insisting that your kids always brush before bed...

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    ...but you’ve been known to wake up on the couch at 3 a.m. after a Netflix binge and flop into bed without brushing.


    2. You advise your kids not to get wrapped up in silly teenage romance...

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    ...but you didn't quite heed that advice when you were their age.

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    3. You go on and on to your kids about how they should eat their veggies…


    ...but you can't even spell broccoli.

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    4. Your kids think you're an amazing driver...

    ...but the police have an altogether different opinion.

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    5. You've told your kids over and over that they should always tell the truth...


    ...but they'd have questions if they saw some of your Evite responses.

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    6. You've gone off about how your kid must ALWAYS answer their phone when you call...

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    ...but you have yet to return the last three voicemails from your parents.


    7. You're like a broken record when it comes to telling your kids the importance of studying...

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    ...but if your kids could pull a Back To The Future, they'd find you didn't always value studying quite as much.


    8. Your kids think you possess almost super human strength...

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    ...but not everyone at the gym is as impressed.


    9. Your kids think there's nothing you can't do...

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    ...but they've never watched you do your taxes.


    10. You've made it clear to your kids that eating sweets before bed is a no-no...


    ...but it's a different story after they've gone to sleep.


    11. Your kids make you feel like a culinary God when you cook...


    ...but you wouldn't last five minutes on Hell's Kitchen.

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    12. Your kids think you have a beautiful voice and ask you to sing them a lullaby at bedtime...

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    ...but the guy waiting next to you at the stoplight has a different opinion.

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    13. You're always after your kids to clean their room and NOT just cram their stuff into the closet...

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    ...but then there's your garage.


    14. Your kids think you're freaking hysterical...

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    ...but if they were able to stay up past 11:30 p.m. they'd realize your best shtick has been cribbed from Saturday Night Live.


    15. Your kids are used to you saying, "When I was your age we went outside to play!" over and over...

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    ...but if they ever find this in the attic you're out of luck.

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    16. Your kids know it's important to you that they're nice to everyone...

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    ...but let's just say you have your days.

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