1.
This is how you'd respond to the infuriating "K" text:
2.
And this is what you'd send when you simply aren't having it:
3.
This guy? You would SHUT. HIM. DOWN.
5.
And you would deal with exes without an ounce of feeling:
8.
You would no longer have long, awkward exchanges when randos from your past suddenly pop up on your phone:
9.
You would not suffer fools. AT ALL!
10.
And you'd be ten steps ahead of, well, everyone:
11.
Your rivals wouldn't stand a chance:
12.
This would be your version of "gracious":
13.
Crapping on your happiness would come with a serious cost:
14.
And, really, you'd just have too much damn fun bringing the fire every time your phone buzzed:
