17 Life Skills Every Scouser Has Mastered

Another Scouse impression? Not arsed.

1. Knowing what Scouse words like trabs, barms, and scran mean.

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Within Liverpool we've got our own dialect and language: Scouse. Trabs (trainers), barms (bread rolls), scran (food), bins (glasses), kecks (trousers), and jarg (fake) – we know what these mean but outsiders won't have the foggiest.

2. Breathing through your mouth on the Dock Road.

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Breathing exclusively through your mouth is vital to avoiding that peanutty, cheesy, kind-of-bacony smell.

3. Completely ostracising anything to do with The Sun newspaper.

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It's second nature to us now.

4. Knowing the best outdoorsy places to visit, like Sefton Park.

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Picturesque day out in the sun? Sorted.

5. An ability to Ignore Lambananas forever more.

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Every Scouser has seen them a hundred times so have learnt to bypass them completely.

6. Avoiding certain parts of the city on match days and on December's Santa Dash.

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7. Supporting one of two teams but being united as a city.

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Amidst all the bitter rivalry between Everton and Liverpool supporters on the pitch, there's a sense of togetherness off of it.

8. Never getting stuck on the road to the Queensway tunnel.

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Amateurs have all done this, but hardened Liverpudlians will know how to avoid such pitfalls.

9. Being aware that Crosby and Formby have the best beaches in the North West.

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And in the opposite direction, New Brighton's not too shabby either.

10. Enjoying alternative cinema trips at FACT.

Watching a foreign film on two-person sofas while eating a panini ain't half bad.

11. Laughing off those awful Scouser impressions.

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You've heard one, you've heard 'em all. Non-Scousers just love to do an impression. Trouble is they're all beyond terrible.

12. Knowing that the extremely limited train service doesn't run after midnight.

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No one wants the dilemma of being stranded in town until 6am or forking out for a taxi.

13. Recognising a fake Scouers a mile off.

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14. Visiting Blackpool lights for a viable (and free) family night out.

It's one of the very few family activities you can do that's virtually cost-free.

15. Knowing it's only acceptable to visit Southport for Pleasureland or its promenade.

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16. Choosing Wales as a holiday destination.

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Hey, it’s another country, culture, and language but so close and convenient.

17. Knowing the Philharmonic pub has the fanciest toilets known to humans.

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