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    29 Things For The Grouchiest Person You Know

    Shout-out to all the people whose mood ring is always black.

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    1. A firm but fair tee that lets Grumpy Cat say "NO!" for you.

    2. A sparkly keychain looking to swap places with Ariel in The Little Mermaid.

    3. A pack of abusive balloons to break out when it's someone really annoying's birthday.

    4. A skull spoon that's representative of how you feel about mornings.

    5. A neon light dedicated to how much you love the word "ugh."

    6. A festive garland laying down some ground rules for your party.

    7. An oven mitt that understands the joy that comes with wielding a sharp blade.

    8. A teabag or spoon rest for people looking to enjoy their tea in solitude, thanks.

    9. A pair of socks to wear on days you truly can't even.

    10. A flashy pin inspired by all the times you texted someone to duck off.

    11. A pair of sound-canceling headphones you can count on as a reasonable excuse as to why you never chime in on the conversation at work.

    12. A classic pink eraser that says "go away" to all those unwanted pencil marks (and people).

    13. A retro mug to sip out of while performing the tenth eye-roll of the day.

    14. A "Do Not Disturb" sign that doubles as a bottle opener so you can take care of all your troubles in one fell swoop (swig?).

    15. A coffin-shaped, embroidered patch meant to be worn front and center so everyone knows you're dead serious.

    16. Perpetual Disappointments Diary — a guided journal you can vent to about all of life's little injustices.

    17. A set of bad parking notes that will save so much time in the parking lot each morning.

    18. A seemingly friendly mug to take huge swigs from whenever someone gets on your nerve.

    19. A squishy stress toy you can squeeze the heck out of when you hit the fist-clenching anger stage of the day.

    20. A T-shirt happy to help people decipher your nuanced facial expressions.

    21. A lovely print, perfect for anyone who aspires to have their own Stanley Hudson–level outburst.

    22. An emoji pillow capable of serving devastating looks even when you're not around.

    23. Caffeinated chocolate to soothe your 4 p.m. crankiness.

    24. A laundry bag that doubles as a punching bag so you can unleash your fury over having to do laundry yet again.

    25. A Funko Pop! doll dedicated to the OG (Original Grouch).

    26. A dick mug because you're always saying that's what the coffee tastes like.

    27. An ostrich pillow that you can use to block out all the people you don't want to talk to.

    28. A zippered pouch to help deal with all the people with sticky fingers in your life.

    29. A crewneck sweatshirt to wear while being dragged kicking and screaming out of your apartment.

    When nothing can fix your horrible mood:

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