29 Things For People Who Basically Eat Nothing But Meat
You're basically a T-Rex.
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4. A beef jerky subscription box so you won't have to run to the nearest corner store to get your fix of savory goodness.
9. A handy meat thermometer that will automatically let you know when your favorite animal of choice is ready to be eaten without losing all the juices.
10. A stainless-steel meat injector to keep your meat from being super dry once you start cooking it.
11. Canned unicorn meat. Sometimes in order to succeed, you have to ingest real-ass magical creatures.
12. A Ron Swanson-approved cutting board to make it easier to slice your steak into even-sized morsels.
13. A tasty can of creamed possum, because even roadkill is a top-choice meat and shouldn't be slept on.
16. A pair of heat-resistant gloves, because you'd hate to burn your attractive hands while cooking your steak over a blazing fire.
18. A pack of grill mats, because you'd really appreciate your hamburgers and hot dogs cooking evenly without sticking to the dirty-ass public grill.
20. Or a George Foreman Grill that can also do the fucking job if cooking and eating outside underneath the stars like our ancestors before us just isn't your jam.
23. A useful apron with cool compartments to prevent all the glorious meat spatter from getting on your even more amazing outfit.
24. A super sensual book perfect for broadening your horizons when it comes to unique ways to prepare bacon.
25. A battery-operated food smoker that'lll transform the meat of your choice into juicy heaven, even when you're on the go.
28. An outdoor spice rack, because you'd love to season that prime rib while you're out enjoying the wilderness as it should be — meaty AF.
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That has to be the most beautiful piece of meat I've ever seen.
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.