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1. A pug with a measuring tape for a tongue, so you can make doggone certain your measurements are correct before trying to shove a giant, castle-shaped dog bed through your door.
2. A clear shower curtain with pockets so you can multi-task on mornings when you're running late to work.
First you laugh, and then you realize how much easier it would be to give your kid a bath if Dora the Explorer was on.
Promising review: "Absolutely love this shower curtain! It is worth every penny. BTW if you feel like there is too much space in the pocket where you insert your device, just put a small hand towel or rag behind the device after insertion and you will be good to go." —Jonnisha Lewis
Get it from Amazon for $26.95.
3. A cat hammock so your feline friend can relax and look out the window when you don't have any windowsill space.
Reviewers said that adding a blanket will encourage cats to snuggle up on it.
Promising review: "After a year of good use, the cats still favor this bed. It has held up well and stays in place well. I wiped both the window and the suction cups with 91% alcohol before attaching. That seems to work!" —Z
Get it from Amazon for $15.99.
4. A karate (lettuce) chopper sure to make Spongebob proud.
Promising review: "Sufficient for maiming dangerous heads of lettuce as well as other harmful fruits and vegetables. Also serves as a very good human slapper! Most importantly, I can decapitate a dangerous zombie in as little as 50 chops. I highly recommend this product." —SaraSals
Get it from Amazon for $8.90.
5. A gnome or corgi cork stopper so the fun doesn't have to stop when the drinking does.
6. Or a wine condom for people who won't stop saying "penis grigio."
See BuzzFeed's full review for wine condoms.
Promising review: "One of the greatest gifts ever. Practical yet hysterical." —Sal Vation
Get a pack of six from Amazon for $13.97.
7. A goofy cat trash can to make cleaning up way less clawful.
Get it from Amazon for $11.99 (available in three colors).
8. A video game-inspired light switch for people who just really miss having a pressable button on their iPhone.
It works on paddle-style wall switches.
Promising review: "This light switch cover adds to the gaming theme of my room. The buttons feel like they're high quality and won't break on you. Makes a boring switch in your house have style to it, and I would highly recommend it." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $7.95 (available in six colors).
9. A pair of rubber gloves to make dishes almost worth doing (ALMOST).
Get them from Amazon for $7.95+ (available in four styles).
10. A pack of Tide Pod bath bombs so you can feel like a fresh load of laundry after taking a bath.
Don't eat these!!!!
Get a pack of six from TheSpawStore on Etsy for $10.50.
11. A pair of lips that turn that old health class saying ("like kissing an ash tray") into something literal.
Get it from Amazon for $12.85 (available in four colors).
12. Or some breasts if your audience still giggles at the sight of them.
13. A yoga mat with its priorities straight even when you can't walk straight, whether it be from sore muscles or alcohol.
Get it from Modcloth for $32.
14. A pair of bread slippers, aka loafers to keep your feet warm and toasty.
Promising review: "I saw this on Facebook a while back and could NOT stop laughing about the pun.... loafers!!!!! Then I happened upon them on Amazon, and I just had to. They are super soft to the touch. Super happy with this purchase!" —Rose Ingraffia
Get them from Amazon for $17+ (available in sizes M–L and seven styles).
15. A tin of Shakespeare band-aids that add insult to injury (but still make great bandages).
16. A Cheesus Christ cheese grater for when you're doing the lord's work and making mac and cheese.
*Jeff Mangum voice* I love you, cheesy tots.
Promising review: "This is an excellent product. We've gotten a lot of use out of it. This can actually be used to grate cheese, which is much more essential than you think. Did you know that the shredded taco cheese you buy at the supermarket has wood chips in it? It's true. The wood chips keep the shredded cheese from clumping together. Don't eat wood chips. Find Cheesus Christ!" —Jehovah God
Get it from Amazon for $11.99.
17. A set of hooks that are more fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Get a set of three from Amazon for $13.99 (available in three colors).
18. A Darth Vader shower head so you can bathe in his tears. What a rebellious way to get clean!
19. A singing woman in a bathtub with customizable scrubber hair, so you can make your own soap opera every time you do the dishes.
You can swap out the scrubber part for your favorite brand.
Get it from Amazon for $13.97.
20. A foaming clay mask to turn skincare into a total gigglefest.
Promising review: "Love it! Bought it after I found it on YouTube. It's very fun to wear, but it actually works really well too! Less annoying and flaky than the drying charcoal masks I normally buy. My skin is cleaner, but not dry and tight, after using it. My pores look smaller and it has definitely helped with my blemishes!" —Autumn
21. A knit beanie with a built-in beard so you can enjoy the warmth of facial hair without having to invest in beard oil.
22. A llama duster to ensure you actually want to clean your house.
23. A Game Boy watch because you're not playing around when it comes to being punctual.
Get it from Firebox for $26.29.
24. Finger claws to make you feel like a tiny dinosaur while chowing down on wings. But like, a really clean dino, because your hands will be spotless.
Get six from Amazon for $14.95.
25. A weird and wonderful shower curtain for anyone who doesn't want anyone (except Jeff Goldblum and his primate friend) to see them shower.
Get it from Amazon for $15.69+ (available in two sizes).
26. An exciting Rambo cat mousepad to replace that old boring Dell one you've had since your first computer.
Get it from Amazon for $6.99 (also available in three other styles).
27. A pet umbrella that might seem silly until your dog finally agrees to go out in the rain.
Promising review: "My Duds now goes outside when it's raining without a problem! Great price, I did a lot of homework before I purchased it and this price is right! It's really a clever idea." —Alina Gavryliuk
Get it from Amazon for $16.50.
28. A clever trivet to turn your cooking into a crime scene. That tomato sauce suddenly looks sinister.
29. A quirky little cat oven mitt that waves to you. "Hey!" it says, "let's purrfect that cookie recipe!"
Get it from Modcloth for $15.
30. Wine lip tint to stain your lips almost as well as if you just downed a bottle of merlot.
Promising review: "These are some great little lipsticks (or should I say tints) for the price. At first I had bought them for the package sake (because little wine bottles are so cute!) and I wasn't expecting a good product! Man, I was wrong! As a lip tint they are great (they are a bit streaky in the application process but many lip tints are) and the colors are beautiful!" —Hope
Get a pack of six from Amazon for $8.74.
31. A pair of salt and pepper shakers that spend their time "porking" when not seasoning your food.
Promising review: "Good for a laugh gift to bawdy pig lovers. They do the jobs they are meant to do. Use your own discretion to decide if this is appropriate for the circumstance." —Theresa L. Owen
Get them from Amazon for $10.99.
32. Cord ties with long tongues to keep you from getting your wires crossed.
Get a pack of two from Amazon for $13.63+ (available in four styles).
33. A hilarious little face scrubber to help you remove excess oil and dirt. Your face will be blackhead free, but you might have more smile lines after using this little guy.
Promising review: "These are such a cute idea. it's like a mini face massage. It's not rough or abrasive but feels really nice when washing your face. It definitely works the face wash into the skin more than your hands alone. It's really relaxing." —sonz107
Get it from Amazon for $12.99 or Walmart for $8.98 (available in three colors).
34. An elephant ottoman that's part furniture and part furry pal.
IDK why, but the little wooden legs are just cracking me up.
Promising review: "I really love this ottoman!! It's soft and the easy to put together! It looks like really good craftsmanship and it looks great in my son's elephant themed nursery." —OstkUser27016859
Get it from Overstock for $61.19.
35. Dr. Jart's rubber mask shaker so your face can be as smooth as the baby face on the packaging.
This may look like a super weird baby milkshake, but don't drink it! Instead use it to mix two ingredients together to make a rubber peeling mask. There are four types to choose from that deal with different needs: hydration, soothing, brightening, firming.
Promising review: "Just finished trying the Hydro mask and I can confidently say it’s one of the best face masks I’ve ever used. I loved it so much that I’m definitely returning to Sephora this weekend to buy a few more. First, the packaging is just so cool that I couldn’t help but be intrigued by this product. Kudos, Dr. Jart+. Secondly, the whole process was so unique and fun! It’s goopy, and kind of reminds me of that slime you made in science class as a kid. I was amazed at how easily it peeled off all in one piece. Super neat and clean with no mess or hassle which is A+ for me! My face feels buttery soft and when I looked in the mirror, my jaw dropped because my super dry, dull winter skin instantly looked hydrated and healthy. I’m not exaggerating...usually I’m not blown away by face masks but my skin seriously looked 10 times better, so supple and smooth!" —jordoelizabeth
Get it from Sephora for $12 (available in four types).
36. Cat-paw tongs, because your cat puts its paws on all your food anyway.
Get them from Amazon for $9.78.
37. A magical bunny pourer that can double the amount of shots you pour — talk about useful!
When you're not pouring, the bunny has a magician's hat on.
Get it from Animi Causa for $13.99.
Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides!
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.
