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18 Tweets That Are True For Pretty Much Every Person Out There

Fam, you can't fight facts.

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When you're waiting on a takeaway delivery you can hear every car door shutting in a 5 mile radius


Nobody gas you up like yo mama Facebook friends 😩


When you send someone a funny video and they say "LMFAOOOOOOOO" two seconds later but the video is 60 seconds long


Part of being an adult is "We got food at the house"-ing yourself


1. Type password. 2. See PASSWORD INCORRECT 3. Type exact same thing but harder and louder.



killer: any last words D+ student : A 2.0 student can know more than a 4.0 student. Grades dont determine intelligence, they test obedience


*shows parents a funny meme* parents: who is that? is that ur friend? do you go to school w/ them? do you love this shit? are you high rn?


*driving with my mom in the car* Me: *goes 1 mph over the speed limit* My mom:


teacher: ok please say here when I call ur name kid1: here kid wearing a shirt that says "gamers don't age, we level up!": present


Every voicemail I leave sounds like English is my second language.


when you wanna ask ya moms for money you be in her room acting like you care about what she watching on tv like thi…


[normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats…32 shirts


Sober in an Uber: Please don't talk to me. I don't know you. Drunk in an Uber: I want to get married one day, but I put up emotional walls


Me looking at my own snapchat stories, selfies and tweets after a long day, just reflecting on how great I am.


Person: Would you like to eat 6 string cheeses in a row? Me: Naw. Person: We deep fried em and there will be tomato sauce. Me: Oh, ok, yes.


Me: hey Person with clear skin: honestly😭 its just water


me when i'm adding chopped onions, garlic, and assorted vegetables to my 99 cent pack of ramen noodles