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79 Thoughts Everyone Has Whenever They Shop At Kmart

If I could get married in Kmart, I probably would tbh.

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1. Ok, here we go. I just need makeup wipes.

2. That’s it. In and out. Makeup wipes.

3. Hmmmm… do I need a trolley?

4. No, no. Snap out of it. I don’t even need a basket, I have hands.

5. Oh, hello to you too. No, I’m ok. I don’t need a catalogue.

6. Actually, yeah I’ll take one.

7. OOOO, $3 plates??

8. You really can never have enough plates.

9. What if seven people randomly come over and I’ve only got six plates?

10. What are they going to do? Share?!

11. Well, I’m glad that’s settled.

12. Now… where’s the kitchen section again?

13. Oh, it’s right there. Behind the door greeter.

14. Hang on, what’s that? An 11-piece Tupperware set? For $15??

15. You can never have enough Tupperware.

16. Surely one set won’t break the bank.

17. Ah perfect, the plates!

18. I’ll just grab like… eight. Or nine.

19. Wait. A 30-piece cutlery set?

20. I mean, I am gonna need a bunch of knives and forks for all these $3 plates.

21. Wait it’s only $10?!



23. Maybe I should’ve gotten the trolley…

24. Do you think the door greeter will mind holding my stuff while I go get a trolley?

25. Why are all of these trolleys so stuck together, am I the Hulk?

26. Ahhh, there we go.

27. My arms feel so free.

28. Wait. What was I doing again?

29. Oh yeah, makeup wipes.

30. Why have I never noticed how white it is in here.

31. It feels like I’m in heaven.

32. I mean, I damn well could be.

33. Ooooo homewares.

34. There’s no harm in taking a peek into the home section.

35. It’s not like I need anything anyway.

36. Hold on. How is this candle literally only 75c?

37. A fundraiser Freddo is literally almost double that price.

38. OK, fine. I’ll grab four. You can never have too many candles.

39. Metallic cushions?

40. Tbh, they would look good on my bed in winter.

41. Uh, hold on…

42. When did I become a 35-year-old mother with four kids who changes their bed look by season?

43. Oh well, they would look good in winter.

44. I’ll just put two in my trolley for now.


46. I’m going straight to the beauty section.

47. Nope, don’t need any more books.

48. But this journal is pretty cute…

49. Ok, just one.

50. Hell yes, the underwear section.

51. There. Are. So. Many. Socks.

52. How does Kmart make money by selling three pairs of socks for $3?

53. That’s literally a dollar a pair?

54. And so many people work here?

55. How is that enough money to pay people?!


57. Um...9.05 pm? How have I been here for 37 minutes?

58. How is my trolley so full?

59. Wait, where did that kid get that giant hot dog floatie?

60. I need one.

61. Where do they keep their water toys?

62. Oh bless, they’re right by the checkout.


64. FOR $15?

65. Ok, this is the last thing I’m getting and that’s IT.

66. Oooo but Cherry Ripes are only a dollar…

67. Ok, for real. NOW I’m done.

68. Hell yeah, I love the self-checkout.

69. Wait, what do you mean there’s an unexpected item in the bagging area?

70. There’s literally nothing there. There’s nothing to expect.

71. Checkout worker, please look at me. I don't want to call you, but I need help.

72. Wow. How did I end up spending so much?

73. Oh God, the bag checker wants to check my bags.

74. I don’t know which bag the receipt is in.

75. Please, I’m not stealing. I paid for everything.

76. Oh, phew. They just told me to have a good night.

77. I hope I got everything.

78. Fuck. My makeup wipes.

79. Oh well, I’ll just come back tomorrow.