1. First off, Australians don't need a maths degree to buy something because we don't have to deal with tipping or after sales tax.
2. Sure, us Aussies use slang, but at least we use the right words for the right things.
3. Plus, we're pretty straightforward when we need to answer a question, you know?
4. Our gravy is gravy-coloured aka the colour it should be, and not that white, chalky thing you guys have.
5. Oh, and we have good, real cheese. None of that orange stuff. None of that canned stuffed, either.
6. Our chocolate? Well, it's actually delicious and creamy and just all-around yum.
7. And sorry...our coffee is actually good.
8. Australians can easily take banknotes out of our wallets without having to look at the numbers when we need money.
9. And we save SO much more wallet space by not messing about with $1 notes.
10. Plus most of our coins have super-cute animals on them, while yours, no offence, have some boring-ass eagles and buildings.
11. We can actively conserve energy by turning our power outlets off at the wall.
12. And it's way safer for everyone to cross the street because all of our crosswalks make noise.
13. We still have Kinder Surprise eggs, in all their original glory.
Remember, America bans Kinder Surprise eggs because of the health danger from choking on the toys inside. But it sells AR-15s in Walmart.
14. And we use chicken salt on our chips, which, sorry, trumps any of those other salts you guys have.
15. Yeah, Australians might have student loans too, but they really aren't anywhere as bad as Americans'.
16. We can go to the public bathroom in peace and without fear of someone peeping at us through the door.
17. And our asses are pretty safe from the imminent splashback y'all have to deal with.
18. We easily know when something is below freezing or above boiling because we measure temperature in Celsius.
Exhibit A: Map of places that don’t use the Metric system:
You know, like the rest of the world?
19. Oh, and we don't use feet or inches, which makes everything a hell of a lot easier.
20. Our Kmart is definitely 110% better than the American one.
21. But above all, our tastebuds are pretty damn happy because we don't use ranch dressing on everything.
