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Dear Germans, I Love You But Please Explain Yourselves On These 16 Points

Why do your toilets have a poop shelf?

1. Why do your toilets have a shelf?

@JKaplan make sure you get one with the classic german shelf toilet

2. Also, why does it take like, two flushes to properly flush every toilet?

3. Why don't your mailing addresses include unit numbers?

4. Why don't you honk?

5. Why do your washing machines turn with the force of a thousand running rivers?

6. Why don't people smile or greet each other on the street but when you walk into a medical office, literally everyone stops what they're doing and greets you like you're a lover coming back from the war?

7. Do you ever book a doctor's appointment just for funsies? (A little medical TLC?)

8. Do you drink beer with every meal?

9. Why are your cocktails so strong?

10. Does every German have a 16-year-old drinking story, just like every American has a tequila drinking story?

11. Why is smoking in bars still a thing?

12. Why don't your tampons have applicators?

13. Why are you obsessed with paprika-flavored chips?

14. Why are your bedroom pillows square-shaped?

I mean, you fold them into rectangular shapes when you go to bed anyway, right?

15. Why do you hate A/C?

16. And finally, how do Germans speak English so freaking well?!