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Dear Germans, I Love You But Please Explain Yourselves On These 16 Points

Why do your toilets have a poop shelf?

1. Why do your toilets have a shelf?

@JKaplan make sure you get one with the classic german shelf toilet

2. Also, why does it take like, two flushes to properly flush every toilet?


3. Why don't your mailing addresses include unit numbers?


In Germany, when you want to have something delivered, you simply write down the recipient's name and street address.

4. Why don't you honk?


Note that this question, like many of my other questions, is not a complaint and more of a curiosity.

5. Why do your washing machines turn with the force of a thousand running rivers?


*Entire kitchen vibrates*

6. Why don't people smile or greet each other on the street but when you walk into a medical office, literally everyone stops what they're doing and greets you like you're a lover coming back from the war?

Cecilie_arcurs / Getty Images

7. Do you ever book a doctor's appointment just for funsies? (A little medical TLC?)

Pablobenitezlope / Getty Images

Gotta take advantage of that universal healthcare.

8. Do you drink beer with every meal?

Kabvisio / Getty Images

9. Why are your cocktails so strong?


Again, not a complaint!

10. Does every German have a 16-year-old drinking story, just like every American has a tequila drinking story?

Gpointstudio / Getty Images

In dear Deutschland, you can drink beer and wine starting the age of 16, as long as you're in the company of an adult responsible for you.

11. Why is smoking in bars still a thing?


I know it's technically illegal across the country, but it still happens!

12. Why don't your tampons have applicators?

Adene Sanchez / Getty Images

TBH, it's probably the more environmentally-friendly move.

13. Why are you obsessed with paprika-flavored chips?

And let's be real, paprika is more of a color than a flavor.

14. Why are your bedroom pillows square-shaped?

I mean, you fold them into rectangular shapes when you go to bed anyway, right?

15. Why do you hate A/C?


And how do you get through the summer without 'em?

16. And finally, how do Germans speak English so freaking well?!

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