1.
Honestly my take away from this chart is that donuts are healthier than I thought https://t.co/VCs5ZCPQqE
2.
my friend is the chef at an extremely fancy nyc restaurant and this is an order he received today
3.
books describing the terrible conditions of the medieval times or whatever are always like "they had nothing to eat but bread, wine and a lump of cheese" and with all due to respect to the difficulties of the past....that's my ideal meal
4.
If the Waffle House cook don’t do this before you walk in, he don’t gaf about the food 😂
5.
Everything means nothing, if I ain’t got food.. or whatever Alicia keys said
6.
As a busy and modern career woman on the go, it's important for me to set aside the time every day to sloppily eat a salad at my desk like a misbehaving horse
7.
Me: *gets a snack* My dog:
8.
midwest people take tornadoes as seriously as lactose intolerant people take not eating cheese
9.
me and my girl when we finally agree on where to eat.
10.
no one: a job that pays you min wage: if you sit down you will be shot on sight. every customer gets one free pass to spit in your face and you must honor it. if the customer is not satisfied with their food you MUST breastfeed them NO EXCEPTIONS.
11.
When you looking for your mom through the aisles in the food store and then finally find her
12.
This is the epitome of transferable job skills https://t.co/G6SyveH7UK
13.
me at 2:58 in the morning looking for a little snacky-snack
14.
doctor: [reading chart] was there any brain damage me: la croix tastes like toilet wine made in a prison for furbies doctor: [writing] yeah no he's fine
15.
are we supposed to just accept that gingerbread men live in houses built from the flesh of their fellow men
16.
me and my future husband after a bottle of wine on a sunday afternoon
17.
How much spinach I start cooking vs how much I end up with.
18.
literally every single letter in the word hors d'oeuvres