1. Excitement
It's 10pm. You've got your wine. You've made sure everyone within a 20-foot radius knows not to speak to you for the next 60 minutes, unless they're texting or tweeting you, "OMFG!" at the commercial breaks. Your stories are on and you know you're in for some great eye candy, fashion, and drama.
2. Annoyance
Fitz is on screen, yelling at Olivia or groping Olivia or both. It's like watching your best friend argue with her less-than-impressive boo thang. All the signs are bad and you're tired of listening to her complaining. But they just refuse to break up. And so you've gotta watch them figure their shit out for the umpteenth time this month.
3. Arousal
Don't even play. Even though they really do need couple's therapy, those Olitz scenes are HOT. Plus, there's Jake (UNF!) and his swooping in to save the day. And Harrison (UUUNNNFFFFF!) doing lots of Harrison things. Kerry Washington and her perfectly coiffed press-n-curl could get it. Let's admit it – we all get a little turned on during this show.
4. Confusion
If you're on Twitter or texting somebody, this is when you start using all caps and double punctuation: "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! WHO DID WHAT?!" The dialogue is speeding up and you missed it, because you were pouring yourself another glass. Or someone's killed or blackmailed somebody else. Or Beyoncé decided to drop a secret album. You can't catch up! It's all happening so fast! And then you remember you DVR Scandal religiously, so it'll be OK…
5. Sadness/Heartache
That music comes on. You know what music I'm talking about. Olivia is laid up somewhere on a white couch with her doe eyes and quivering lip. Maybe you got your hopes and thought she'd really work things out this time with Fitz. (I mean, they were made for each other.) Or maybe you're actually feeling sorry for Mellie, with all the BS she has to put up with. When one of them hurts, you hurt.
6. Anger!
Somebody messed up! Enough to make you yell, "Oh, hell no!" at your TV screen even though you know they can't hear you. You're mad! You've forgotten your college education, your ability to use multi-syllabic words, or that you have neighbors. You're upset… and the people you're upset with are fictional characters, so there is no where to place your unsettled rage!
7. IRATE SHOCK!!!
Shonda Rhimes and her staff writers are really good at dropping the juiciest bombs in the last 20 seconds of an episode: PAPA POPE! MAMA POPE! WHO SHOT FITZ?! WHO'S JERRY'S DAD?! You're mad and scared and surprised all at the same time. They set up this really intense climax and then the credits roll with next week's teaser. That teaser might as well say, "LOL! Gotcha! We'll see you next week, because our story structure is like crack cocaine! You're always hooked!" Well played, Shonda.
