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22 Reasons "Love Actually" Is Not A Good Movie
More like NOT actually love.
There's this dude and he's terrible. One of his first lines in the film is "Try my lovely nuts."
Later in the film he's all like, "I'm Colin, god of sex." He also blames his troubles on British women.
And then there's this guy named Mark. Yeah, really cool of you to lay some moves on your best friend's wife!
Which is interesting considering earlier in the film he was very mean to her, almost like he was a child in grade school.
And that creepy, creepy wedding video. No. Just...no.
And then there's Professor Snape — wait, er, Harry (Alan Rickman). He's terrible because of several reasons...
First he brings Sarah (Laura Linney) into his office to pry into her love life and says that her crush is obvious to the entire office.
And then practically forces an employee to engage in sexual relations with a co-worker. What boss endorses that?
There's also Mia. She's just blatantly flirtatious with a married man, but it's not her fault alone because Harry engages.
Harry buys Mia a gift. A really expensive necklace.
And he gets his "brilliant" wife a freakin' Joni Mitchell album. Um...nah!
Basically a lot of the men in this movie are terrible, and Billy Bob Thornton, who plays the president of the United States, may be the worst.
Since when is harassment cool?
To make matters worse for Natalie, David is like let's "redistribute" her. Because he can't control his emotions* around the people he works with.
And then then he shows up to her house to "save" her.
You're the reason she's out of a job anyway.
Honestly, the whole movie has weird employer/employee boundaries that are crossed.
Note: Why are all of the women wearing red? Does this mean something?
Why does everyone keep calling Natalie "fat"?
Daniel is mourning his wife's death and Karen thinks this is an appropriate thing to say:
Admit it. If someone you barely knew broke through airport security to see you right before you got on a plane, you'd call the police. That is not love, people. It's creepy.
For a movie about love, most of these relationships are based purely on physical attraction. Which is fine, but like, a big part of love is communication!
When Jamie learned Portuguese for Aurélia, the FIRST THING he says to her is not "Hey, I like you" or even "Let's go on a date." No. He asks her to MARRY HIM.
And finally, the cover of "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is terrible.
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