go to content

25 Hysterical Tweets About The Lottery That'll Make You Laugh

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Posted on

2.

[1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know

3.

Things to do today: Get kids to school A bunch of other stuff Win Powerball, become Billionaire!!! Anybody else have the same plans today?

4.

I think I should be the first person to quit their job before winning the lottery

5.

multiple news outlets have reported that the $900 million lottery winner has been found!!!

6.

Things more likely than winning the lottery: -Becoming US president -Dying while purchasing your ticket -A vaper not telling you he vape

7.

“If I win the lottery, I told your father I’m divorcing him, living in a mansion by myself and he can come visit me and have sex with me."

8.

After I WIN the PowerBall today.. I'm gonna BUY Twitter. Just as a power move.

9.

if elected as powerball winner i pledge to make our national anthem the "boricua, morena" part at the end of "still not a player"

10.

Me: Can I bet $20 on the Panthers to win the Super Bowl? Government: Sorry, no Me: Ok, can I buy 1k in powerball tickets? G: Lol, of course

11.

Hey Powerball-heads, like to take chances? Then you'll love Chipotle!

12.

instead of wasting time buying a powerball ticket I'm just going to set $2 on fire

13.

Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall are engaged. So congratulations to Jerry Hall on winning the Powerball

14.

Can't wait to win the lottery 2nite. I plan to live-tweet my reaction here, but if I don't it'll probs be because I'm overcome with emotion

15.

I think I want to buy a lottery ticket but if I win it will be so corny like, "America's Twitter Sweetheart Hits The Jackpot" yikes!!!

16.

A bunch of little balls are struggling to open a jar. Power Ball bursts through the wall. "This looks like a job for Power Ball!"

17.

*wins lottery* *sorts price high to low*

18.

I might wake up early tomorrow and go for a run. I also might win the lottery. the odds are about the same 💅

19.

I would like to know why Powerball's website looks like it was made with Geocities. https://t.co/WjpfFFQHQh

20.

5-year-old: Did you win the lottery. Me: Nope. Sorry. 5-year-old: Why are you bad at everything?

21.

22.

Dreamt that Paris Hilton won the lottery. We were all very pissed. #lottery

23.

The lottery winner will probably be someone in your extended LinkedIn network.

24.

My dog refuses to talk to me until I buy him a Powerball ticket. This lottery is affecting everyone 😳💰💰

25.

I just checked my PowerBall numbers. I came pretty close. I only missed six of them.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss