2. OK, maybe this Calvin Klein ad will jog your memory.
It’s all coming back now, right? Good.
3. Guess what? He’s still incredibly attractive, and you’ll probably cry because it’s like he doesn’t age.
4. This is a recent picture of Marcus Schenkenberg, gliding on the sand of beach, probably making jellyfish around him squeal with joy.
5. This is him in the gym, making the weights around him blush, which is why the picture is in black and white. He didn’t want the inanimate objects to feel embarrassed.
6. Look at this picture of him tanning a few weeks ago. Like…*insert Pterodactyl scream here*
Who wants to put on a toga and feed him grapes? Answer: all of humanity.
7. Look at him attempting to be Poseidon. I mean, maybe not, but there’s a good chance that’s what he’s up to.
I’d like to see his Trident.
11. Why am I not that cigarette? Why? How can we fix this error?!
UNF UNF UNF
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