1. How does this make sense? Enlighten us all.
2. But then you found time to take a photo of the roach who caused you to momentarily stop your jerk sesh?
3. No, sir.
4. That is exactly right. 😒
5. *Weeps for humanity*
6. You protect yourself every time you have sex? SO DISGUSTING.
7. You don't say...
8. Payback is a b*tch. :'(
9. That feeling when you should maybe delete your account...
10. When Diddy decided to be candid as hell.
11. When has discriminating against people ever worked out in the long run?
12. Oh, Azealia.
13. I don't wanna knock your dream, but this just sounds like it'd be really uncomfortable.
14. Do you, boo.
17. Why do you care if Remy Ma was able to have conjugal visits while in prison?
18. Oh, a "sea sexion" actually sounds pretty nice and soothing, but maybe I'll just stick to a natural birth.
19. Yaaass, honor your vow of ~celibantcy~, boo. 0_o
20. Well, this went from 0 to 100.
21. I suppose... 😣
23. Worst superpower ever.
26. Oh, like the Version Mary? Gotcha.
All credit to this hilarious Tumblr.