Dating "OTHER' While Black!
miabellenyc.com
My first question when dating a man who does NOT have the pleasure of checking the African-American ‘box’ is: “Have you ever dated a black woman before and how did that work out for you?”
My most recent ‘experience’ claimed to have dated women of "all types," as if that answer was supposed to make me feel more comfortable... when in-fact, my QUESTION remained the same: “Have you ever dated a black woman before…”
Why, you ask? Lets just say we're d i f f e r e n t.
Understand that I can care less about the Portuguese, Russian, and Latina, women that have served a purpose in your past; I'm sure they were all equally amazing but……
My question is 'Have you ever-dated BLACK…?'
Let me explain:
When I say “Black” I am referencing, the girl who wraps her hair at night to prevent a fucked-up hair situation the next morning.
-The girl who unwillingly spends her entire Saturday in the hair salon because it takes THAT long. (Keep in mind the other women patiently waiting to get their wigs tamed)
-The girl who freaks out if you get her hair wet.
-The girl who will complain if you don’t have a shower-cap in your bathroom.
I am speaking of the girl who smells of the coconut oil/cocoa butter that keeps her skin moist.
THAT GIRL...
-The girl who faces being categorized as “aggressive” if she dares to have an opinion.
-The girl who is considered a “BITCH” when she knows exactly what she wants and refuses to settle for less.
-The girl who you assume has no feminine attributes JUST because you deem her unattractive.
-The girl who is EXPECTED to tend to your every need.
I’m talking about the girl who is QUESTIONED about her race whenever a man finds her somewhat appealing... AS IF being BLACK can never look ‘that’ good.
-The girl who is over-sexualized simply because of her shapely figure.
-The girl that you claim was ‘ASKING FOR IT.’
THAT GIRL…
I am sure that women of all ethnicities can relate in one way or another, but as a man, if you’ve never dated BLACK be prepared to learn something new...
All in all, the moral of the story is that I like to make sure the men I date are well aware of what they are getting themselves into when dealing with a strong-willed black woman who sleeps on silk pillow cases.
Like many, my culture represents a big chunk of who I am as a woman. If you can’t get hip to the attributes and understand that black women come from a long line of societal strife, there is 99.9% chance that we are NOT a match!
The Sapphire: Rude, loud, malicious, overbearing angry black woman
The Jezebel: Seductive, alluring, promiscuous, and predatory black woman.
The Matriarch/Mammy: Strong-willed, caretaker, unattractive, asexual black woman.
These stereotypes have evolved during the unfortunate era of slavery, forcing African American women to be scrutinized by their race and womanhood till this day.
I am very aware that this piece may rub a few hearts the wrong way…nevertheless remember WHERE you are reading this….MIABELLENYC.com
Feel free to state your opinion :) This is now an open discussion...