I used to work as a censor for NBC Universal and ABC, so I know what it feels like to be the unwanted guest at a party, lingering by the pigs in a blanket in hopes that Jim Halpert will notice my skillz. I'm now a law student at NYU.
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  • Santa, Take Note: The Fashion Taser

    No bigger truth has ever been spoken: “Obviously this is a product that a lot of women want.” You’ve all heard me say this over and over: my taser isn’t stylish enough. God forbid my assailants were to question my fashion sense. Andy Jordan, our favorite WSJ online investigator, reports on the Fashion Taser. It’s available in leopard print (to match my leopard print coat and hat, yay!) and the holster comes equipped with an MP3 player. Nothing says “flirty and lethal” like a little tasing to the tune of Bananarama.

  • Save $5,000: Cheer Up Your Friends’ Buddies

    The NY Times reports that Harvard factologists analyzed data on the happiness of nearly 5,000 people, and found that a happy neighbor or nearby friend-of-a-friend was a stronger predictor of subjects’ happiness than a happy spouse or faraway friend. I shall now insert a quote of truth: “if your friend’s friend’s friend becomes happy, that has a bigger impact on you being happy than putting an extra $5,000 in your pocket.”

  • Blog Off: What is the Best Music Video Ever and Why?

    Ladies and Gentlemen, the day has come to settle this once and for all. Why not just duke it out in public, since we all talk about this topic in the comforts of our weekly orgies (KIDDING, mom!)? I’m gonna ask it straight out of my mouth with sounds of words of inquiry: What is the best music video ever?

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