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    Barbie's Abandoned Family Members

    Barbie may preach that "We girls can do anything," but holding down 87 careers comes at a price. From her little sister Tutti to Tanner, her pooping dog, the doll's made a habit of cruelly cutting off those closest to her. Watch your back, Ken.

    Tutti & Todd, Barbie's Twin Siblings


    These elementary schoolers were introduced in 1966 as Barbie and Skipper's little brother and sister. Much like Richie's big brother on Happy Days, in 1971 they announced they were headed off to school and were never seen or heard from again.

    Francie, Barbie's Cousin

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    In 1966 Barbie started hanging out with her cousin Francie, who had a "mod" '60s wardrobe, a thinner figure, and beautiful rooted eyelashes. She mysteriously disappeared in 1976, and while there's no evidence that Barbie murdered her in a fit of jealous rage, there's also no evidence that she didn't.

    Jazzie, Barbie's "Cool Teen Cousin"


    Jazzie was the epitome cool in the late '80s/early '90s. The high school student had friends with names that matched hers (Chelsie and Stacie), a boyfriend known simply as "Dude," and her very own version of the Peach Pit: A rad hangout spot called "Burger King."

    Kelly I/Stacie/Kelly II, Barbie's Little Sister


    In the '90s Barbie's parents had several children in an attempt to fill the Tutti-shaped hole in their lives. Kelly first appeared as a flower girl in Midge's wedding, then demanded that everyone start calling her "Stacie" in a desperate plea for attention. Several years later Kelly was reincarnated as a toddler, but Barbie was too busy with her work as a presidential candidate/aerobics instructor to notice.

    Krissy, Barbie's Baby Sister

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    Disappeared in 2001. Barbie's only statement on the matter: "It will shock you how much it never happened."

    Barbie's Pets

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    Most greusome playset ever: Barbie's pet cemetery, which contains 21 dogs, 15 horses, six cats, a parrot, a chimpanzee, a panda, a lion cub, a giraffe, and a zebra. As it turns out, Barbie didn't find her dog Tanner's realistic pooping action all that amusing.

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