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34 Things Only A Black Church Kid Would Understand

Praise breaks, wardrobe malfunctions, off-beat choirs, there's few things more uniting then the Black Church experience. If you're a black church kid you're sure to relate to one (or all) of these things.

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1. The usher who takes their job way too seriously.

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2. The frustration of waiting for your mom after church as she says “hello” to every single person in the sanctuary as if she won't see them again in seven days.

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3. That one choir director who burns more calories directing than doing CrossFit.

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4. The pure joy of sitting next to the church mother who has an endless supply of nameless candies in her purse.

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5. When the person next to you catches the Holy Ghost out of nowhere.

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6. When the pastor says "turn to you neighbor" and you’re sitting next to a stranger.

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7. Versus when the pastor says "turn to your neighbor" and you’re sitting next to your homie.

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8. When the soloist channels his/her inner Beyonce and unnecessarily remixes the entire song.

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9. That one person who claps on the downbeat of every up-tempo song.

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10. You're basically immune to ugly cries.

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11. These are LIFESAVERS after a good praise break.

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12. Savoring your Communion juice and cracker like it’s an actual meal because you know it’ll be another three hours before you actually eat dinner.

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13. Easter Sunday is basically the Christian version of Fashion Week.

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14. When the praise and worship leader if off-key.

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15. Church service just isn’t the same if you get there late and can’t sit with your clique.

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16. The look on the elders’ face when the praise and worship leader pulls out a hymnal on classics everyone should know like “Amazing Grace”.

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17. When you’re new at church and they ask visitors to stand.

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18. Dropping change into the offering basket and praying no one notices.

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19. The preacher says, “I’m almost done.” *translation* “I’ll be about 30 more minutes."

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20. When the church usher completely calls you out for crying during service.

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21. Holding random babies is completely normal.

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22. That one lady who shouts every Sunday but never dresses for it.

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23. Hand sanitizer is the real MVP after joining hands in prayer with someone who has clammy hands.

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24. The older Saints face as the kids perform Gospel rap on Youth Sunday.

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25. The universal church nurse shoe.

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26. Side eyes all around when the pastor asks for a second offering in the same service.

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27. That one choir member who always sways the wrong way.

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28. When the beat is right and you totally forget you’re still in church.

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29. The preacher who has a Gospel rendition of every secular song.

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30. When the dance and mime ministry are the captains of #TeamTooMuch

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31. Wishing your homie the best but also thanking God it wasn’t you when your friend’s mom drags them out of the sanctuary for a whoopin’.

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32. The perfect stank face because the sermon is getting good.

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33. When you’re not completely saved and the preacher tries to lay hands on you.

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34. There is literally nothing better in the world than a post-church Sunday nap.

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