1. The usher who takes their job way too seriously.
2. The frustration of waiting for your mom after church as she says “hello” to every single person in the sanctuary as if she won't see them again in seven days.
4. The pure joy of sitting next to the church mother who has an endless supply of nameless candies in her purse.
5. When the person next to you catches the Holy Ghost out of nowhere.
6. When the pastor says "turn to you neighbor" and you’re sitting next to a stranger.
7. Versus when the pastor says "turn to your neighbor" and you’re sitting next to your homie.
9. That one person who claps on the downbeat of every up-tempo song.
10. You're basically immune to ugly cries.
11. These are LIFESAVERS after a good praise break.
12. Savoring your Communion juice and cracker like it’s an actual meal because you know it’ll be another three hours before you actually eat dinner.
13. Easter Sunday is basically the Christian version of Fashion Week.
14. When the praise and worship leader if off-key.
15. Church service just isn’t the same if you get there late and can’t sit with your clique.
16. The look on the elders’ face when the praise and worship leader pulls out a hymnal on classics everyone should know like “Amazing Grace”.
18. Dropping change into the offering basket and praying no one notices.
19. The preacher says, “I’m almost done.” *translation* “I’ll be about 30 more minutes."
21. Holding random babies is completely normal.
22. That one lady who shouts every Sunday but never dresses for it.
23. Hand sanitizer is the real MVP after joining hands in prayer with someone who has clammy hands.
24. The older Saints face as the kids perform Gospel rap on Youth Sunday.
25. The universal church nurse shoe.
26. Side eyes all around when the pastor asks for a second offering in the same service.
27. That one choir member who always sways the wrong way.
29. The preacher who has a Gospel rendition of every secular song.
31. Wishing your homie the best but also thanking God it wasn’t you when your friend’s mom drags them out of the sanctuary for a whoopin’.
33. When you’re not completely saved and the preacher tries to lay hands on you.
34. There is literally nothing better in the world than a post-church Sunday nap.
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