The Complete Stages Of Having A Midnight Due Date

All my fellow procrastinators, sing it with me.

1. Wake at 9:30am. Wonder what the hell you’re doing up at 9:30am. Promptly fall back asleep.

2. Wake again sometime in the late morning. Wonder vaguely whether or not to eat. Decide dreaming is more important, health reasons and all that.

3. Wake once more at, say, 1:00. Blindly wonder around household, scavenge for food.

4. Take prize food back to cavern, watch some Netflix while eating and telling yourself, “I’ll only eat until the show is over and then I’ll go do some work.”

5. Continue with your eating-tv-symbiotic-relationship until about 4pm, when you suddenly realize that the assignment you haven’t started yet is DUE IN 8 HOURS.

7 hours and 59 minutes, to be exact.

6. Briefly panic until you finish a few of the easiest problems, acquire more food.

7. Run out of Netflix, switch over to Hulu.

Now you officially know how desperate you are to push off this assignment.

8. Quickly and unsurprisingly run out of Hulu to watch. Decide to finish assignment. Take an nap instead.

9. It’s 9:30pm and your stupidity suddenly scrunches itself up into a ball and punches you in the face, reminding you that it’s time to oh, I don’t know, FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENT.


This is you in the morning.

And then this is you at 10:34pm.

Happy Finals Everyone!!

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