1. You start sleeping in so late you don’t have time to shower.
2. You stop giving excuses.
Fire me, PLEASE.
3. You’re too hungover to work…so you don’t.
NAP TIME bitches.
4. When your boss gives you a new project:
ETA: Never. I WILL NEVER GET THIS DONE. ASAP yourself, bitch.
5. You stop even trying with co-workers.
Screw your Avon catalog and screw your pot lucks. #ivealwayshatedyou
6. You start stealing more office supplies than normal.
Yes, I DO need this entire 30 pack of highlighters, back off.
7. You put vodka in your lunch “juice”
I’m screaming FIRE ME but you idiots just won’t do it.
8. Working from home means day drinking, bitches!
Ugh, my internet keeps going out. #sorrynotsorry
9. You make one last attempt at making it right.
But your boss doesn’t seem to care.
10. That didn’t work. It’s QUITTING TIME, BITCHES!
That’s it. F YOU, F YOU, F YOU, You’re cool, F YOU.
11. You’re free! Life is great!
I can drink on the beach at 10am if I want to. WHAAAT!!
12. Until you have to explain yourself to people.
That’s all there is to it. #backoffbitch
13. You start running out of money.
I don’t do poor very well.
14. You have to look for another job.
Attach resume, write cover letter, repeat. I might as well kill myself.
15. Your mental stability comes into question.
Pacing around the house doesn’t help. But it’s the ONLY THING that helps. #conundrum
So many feels.