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The Top 19 Dr. Ian Malcolm "Jurassic Park" Quotes

Chris Pratt better learn Chaos Theory if he wants to get on this level.

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19. "Please, chance it."

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Get that glistening, wounded body into the car!

18. "You think they'll have that on the tour?"

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Surely nothing will go wrong with Jurassic World!

17. "What do they got in there, King Kong?"

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Y'know, pretty much.

16. "Anybody hear that? It's a, um... It's an impact tremor, that's what it is... I'm fairly alarmed here."

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"Impact tremor" is science for "Run away very quickly".

15. "You will remember to wash your hands before you eat anything?"

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She might be too busy being the true hero of this movie.

14. "See, here I'm now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos theory"

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Could your Chaos Theory have predicted that you'd turn out to be so adorkable?

13. "You did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it."

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*swoon*

12. "That is one big pile of shit."

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Well, you're not wrong.

11. "Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend."

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Survival 101: Don't ever lose your sense of sarcasm. It may just save your life.

10. "Dr. Sattler, I refuse to believe that you aren't familiar with the concept of attraction."

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It's just science, girl.

9. "Boy do I hate being right all the time."

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Do you though?

8. "N-now eventually you do plan to have dinosaurs on your-on your dinosaur tour, right?"

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Well now you've just doomed everyone.

7. "Yeah, I'm always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. Malcolm."

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6. "What's so great about discovery? It's a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world."

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Harsh.

5. "But again, how do you know they're all female? Does somebody go out into the park and pull up the dinosaurs' skirts?"

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Obviously not, judging from later events.

4. "Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists!"

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No, but they will churn out an endless parade of subpar sequels.

3. "God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs. God creates Man, Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs."

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Okay but let's be real, Ellie Sattler is the real MVP of this quote.

2. "Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."

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This philosophy applies to pretty much every bad decision I've ever made.

1. "No, I'm, I'm simply saying that life, uh... finds a way."

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Vaguely sensual words to live by.

Honorable Mention: The Laugh

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You know what I'm talkin' about.

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