The Best New Year's Resolutions For 2011

If everyone’s 2011 New Year’s resolutions are as well thought out as these, then we are in for a very successful new year. Mazel Tov. (VIa)

• 1. Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump

  

• 2. Always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom

  

• 3. try to drive closer to the speed limit.

  

• 4. Always wear clean underwear, "just in case".

  

• 5. Keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.

  

• 6. No longer park the BMW next to fire hydrants.

  

• 7. Never again try to diffuse an explosive device with the help of a known practical joker

  

• 8. Avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water

  

• 9. Never again eat a Durian before going to a public function

  

• 10. Leave the details off of Facebook