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1.A pet hair remover if your pet sheds a lot...like a lot, a lot. Roll it over your couch, bed, favorite blanket, you name it, and watch it lift the fur away without fail. See, we can own nice things!!
2.A pack of stain-removing pads because owning a pet = a lot of messes. Thank goodness these pads can handle whatever you throw at 'em. Pee? Check! Poop? Check! Vomit? Check! (You can even use them to clean up your wine spills.)
3.A bleach-free, no-scrub weekly shower spray you'll reach for each Saturday so soap scum and shower grime buildup goes bye-bye without you ever having to wipe. Rinse it clean the next day, and you'll be amazed to see those hard water stains on your shower door are *poof* gone.
4.A pumice cleaning stone for powering through tough rust, lime, and calcium streaks that have retired many a toilet scrubbing brush. (You can just call yours Old Faithful.) This nontoxic cleaner is tough on dirt but gentle on porcelain so you can sit atop the glistening throne you deserve.
5.Or a pack of genius fizzing toilet tabs (think a bath bomb but for your toilet) to sanitize the bowl. I think the saying goes, "100% of the time it works every time."
6.A drain clog remover that'll conquer the hair monster in your shower drain, simultaneously impressing and disgusting you. Chances are you'll never stop shedding so you might as well stock up on these bad boys.
7.An OXO brush set if you want a precise clean. You get two brushes — one big and one small — to tackle every mess from grimy grout to stained cooktops.
8.A mold and mildew remover because you can set it, forget it, and come back in a few hours to see grout that looks like new. If your brain is filled with images of your dirty shower grout every time you close your eyes and try to relax...you definitely need this.
9.A Scrubbing Bubbles toilet cleaning stamp so you can polish your toilet without ever having to pick up a dirty toilet brush. *shudders* Honestly, you can probably just chuck it straight in the trash after you add this to your cart. The stamp releases the cleaning gel, which foams and cleans your toilet with each flush.
10.A reusable weighted bottle cleaner for getting rid of schmutz on the inside of your water bottle, especially those pesky tapered bottles where you can't slide a sponge down the neck. These sponges have an abrasive texture that dislodge food bits (like leftover smoothie that's stuck in your Blender Bottle) when you can't reach it. Just drop it in the bottle and give it a shake.
11.A bottle of hard water booster powder to make mugs that look like the one on the left (aka cloudy) look more like the mug on the right (aka nice and shiny). Your precious morning coffee should not be ruined by hard water stains!
12.A bacon sponge that'll do the trick if draining excess grease from your bacon with single-use paper towels bothers your green heart. Just soak these polyester and organic cotton cloths in hot water and a degreasing soap to keep them clean.
13.A portable Bissell SpotBot if spending hours on your hands and knees scrubbing cat vomit from the carpet sounds incredibly unappealing.
14.A mattress vacuum because the last time you cleaned your mattress was...? The answer is never. This loosens dust and dirt lodged in your mattress and sucks it up, catching itty bitty particles.
15.A cooktop cleaner so you can enjoy a pristine kitchen even though your messy roommate's selective amnesia means they don't remember all the apartment meetings you've had about cleaning up after yourselves. This kit comes with a bottle of cleaner, a sponge, and a scraper — everything you need short of a new roommate.
16.A carpet cleaner for getting rid of that questionable stain on your white carpet that's been taunting you and besting every other carpet cleaner you've ever tried — well, every carpet cleaner but this one.
17.A pack of dishwasher cleaning tablets to clean your machine as it runs. No need to sigh in frustration every time you open your dirty dishwasher to remove your "clean" dishes.
18.An eco-friendly hard water stain-remover that'll defeat stubborn soap scum and residue that's bested all your other attempts to scrub it away. It's biodegradable so the scent won't singe your nose hairs and make you gag, plus it's safe enough to use on just about anything — including shower glass, tile, granite, stainless steel, marble, brass, and porcelain.
19.A gel dust cleaner if there's a crumb stuck between your R and T keys and it's bugging the heck out of you. Smushing this lemon-scented slime on your keyboard is weirdly soothing and the end result is dust-free keys.
20.A jetted bathtub cleaner because yes, you have to clean the inside of your tub — like the inside, inside. This cleanser will quickly flush out soap scum and body oils that are gunking up your tub's jets.
21.A Swop Mop so you can clean your dirty, dusty air vents without standing on a rickety step ladder. This reusable cleaning cloth slides over your broom so you can dust high and low with ease.
22.A humble laundry soap bar for brightening whites, spot-treating stains, cleaning your makeup brushes, degreasing your home, repelling bugs (it smells like citronella), luring catfish (yes, reviewers swear by it as fish bait), and more.
23.An robot vacuum to keep the mess under control without you ever lifting a finger. OK, I lied. You will have to press some buttons on the remote control but you'll no longer have to spend a good portion of your weekend manually vacuuming up mountains of dirt, dust, and pet fur.
24.A grout paint pen that'll cover up years of residue from dirty feet, uncleaned spills, and mysterious stains that bother you every time you look down at your floors. It works like a regular marker, so even people who failed art can use it.
25.A microwave steam cleaner that'll melt away the baked-on crud that's clung to the sides of your microwave since, well, we're not exactly sure how long it's been there but suffice it to say it's been awhile.
26.An odor-eliminating spray because a few spritzes on the stain your pet's "present" left behind will save you from smelling pee every time you walk into the living room. Each spray releases bacteria that feeds on the ammonia left behind after your pet's accidents, eliminating the urine completely and deterring your pet from peeing in the same spot again.
27.A broom for pet hair so you spend less time unearthing trapped fur from your carpet. The rubber head works as a magnet to attract stray hairs. There's also a built-in squeegee for wiping up liquids or for cleaning glass. Plus, the handle extends so it can reach practically any mess.
28.Some stain-removing tablets for saving you from spending your Sunday scrubbing wine stains on your shirt from Saturday's movie night. Toss one in with a regular load and your whites will emerge dramatically whiter.
29.And an oven cleaner to de-gunk the last five years' worth of meals from the sides and bottom. This is great for anyone whose oven doesn't have a self-clean option, as well as people who don't use the self-clean button because it turns their home into a sauna.
30.A pack of foaming garbage disposal cleaners that'll clean your sink from the inside out. You definitely shouldn't be sticking your hand down the garbage disposal...so let this lil' helper do the dirty and dangerous work.
31.Some washing machine cleaning tablets if you crinkle your nose in disgust every time you open your washer and are greeted by a dank, mysterious odor. These'll clean and freshen the inside while dissolving residue because you keep your washing machine open when it's not in use yet it still smells moldy. What gives?
32.A portable handheld vacuum because it picks up fur with ease, especially on hard-to-vacuum areas like stairs. There's no bag, so simply pop off the canister when you're done vacuuming and dump the contents in the trash.
33.A drill brush kit so your arm isn't out of commission for a whole day after aggressively scrubbing stains for 10 minutes. Just attach the scrubbing brush head, flip the switch on your drill, and watch the dirt go straight down the drain.
34.A plant-based stainless-steel cleaner and polish for anyone whose family doesn't seem to understand that there are handles (handles, people!) and unnecessarily smudge the fridge with their fingerprints.
You realizing you're not as clean as you thought you were: