9 Ways To Play Roommate Roulette

Finding a good roommate is like finding a spouse. Is it me? Is it you? Can I ever live with a friend? So many questions, but getting lucky with your roommate really depends on you.

1. The Mute

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Pros: Living with a silent roommate can be really... silent. No one bugs you about your day, or where you were last night. Sleep when you want, study when you want. You're basically living alone, but you only have to clean every other week.

Cons: The Mute can suck the life out of you. Blank stares don't give you the warm and fuzzies, and introducing your friends to a silent roommate can feel awkward, for them and you. The Mute often has a hobby, which you somehow become aware of despite not being able to see or hear it. You'll grow to find this irritating, and rant to your friends about your roommate who's "always moisturizing. Like, does she not have any friends???" or getting caddy, "GOD KNOWS what she's doing in there all the time…*raises eyebrow*"

2. The Couple

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Pros: The great thing about living with a Couple is that the only person who can bring home sketchy strangers is you. You're living in a space for two, but splitting the costs between three. An extra roommate means board games, a second opinion and justification for calling a night in a "small party."

Cons: Couples take each others' side. Couples fight. They fuck. Probably in your kitchen. Definitely in your shower. They give each other the silent treatment and have inside jokes. After a few years, couples begin to only have couple friends, at which point you become a permanent wheel: third, fifth, seventh. Eventually, couples should really stop having roommates.

3. The Opposite Sex

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Pros: As a female who's lived with lots of dudes, this can be a 'once you pop, you can't stop,' situation. If girls are too sensitive, or guys are too dirty for you, switch it up. And if you're straight, you'll meet lots of prospects, all the while getting very inside access.

Cons: Girls might be too sensitive and guys might be too dirty. Walking around in your bra might now warrant a discussion. Both of you have to be cool with the tampons next to the toilet, or else it might get complicated.

4. The Mommy's Dearest

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Pros: Mom and dad are always close by.

Home-cooked meals are regular, and the refrigerator is always stocked. You'll save time and money on cleaning, and you might never even learn the maintenance guy's number with a handy Dad hanging around. Oh, and that last minute ride to the airport? Covered.

Cons: Mom and dad are always close by.

In fact, Mommy's Dearest's mother might start texting you to check in on them. M.D.'s parents are usually tech-savvy, and tend to comment on inappropriate Facebook pictures - theirs and yours. In the worst case scenario, M.D.'s 'rents will try to mediate any conflicts that arise, placing you in an awkward 3-on-1, damned-if-you-do conversation.

5. The Wild Card

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Pros: A Wild Card is a lot of fun. They always know the hit band that's in town, or the new bar to check out. Usually a wild card has a decent social circle, likes to host and fills the place with good vibes.

Cons: When the Wild Card gets down, sometimes it's difficult to understand how they go from being so vibrant and fun to quiet and serious over night. One minute they're baking brownies, the next they're on a juice cleanse. You may start to feel the deck's missing a few cards, or like you can't depend on your roommate.

6. The BFF

Pros: One less person to remember for Christmas cards. But really, living with the best friend can make life easier. Late-night cabs get cheaper. Your wardrobe doubles. There's always someone to grab a drink with and help you remember 'that thing you have to do' when the night goes sour.

Cons: Your secrets are out the window. Those habits we even try hiding from ourselves are out. Yes, you cared what you wore to get coffee with your ex. That psycho stress cleaning? Doesn't just happen on holidays. And try taking a break from a best friend, who accidentally spilled your dirty laundry last night, when you live together. That thing that didn't seem so important, or you thought you could sleep off, is now holding up the bathroom right before your interview.

7. The Old Soul

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Pros: The Old Soul looooves to cook. They love to clean and always pay rent on time. Living with an Old Soul can take all the worry away, providing you on-demand words of wisdom and chamomile. The Old Soul is comfortable in their own skin, and has their own things going on, so you can choose when you have roomie time. Home will feel like a cozy place of zen.

Cons: The Old Soul likes to be in control. They can require cycles or charts, while you're down with spontaneity, and maybe you prefer The Kardashians to the soothing sounds of Miles Davis. You may also find it challenging to see eye-to-eye on your down time. Old Souls don't always love having everyone over for the big game, or blaring Kanye in the morning.

8. The Cyclone

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Pros: Having a Cyclone roommate is the ultimate ego boost. You're the clean one, the organized one, the seemingly put together. Not to mention, no pressure to be OCD about dishes, or taking down the trash when you've just climbed the 4th floor walk-up. Cyclone's usually have 500 things going on. They're super interesting, and generally pretty laid back about, well, everything.

Cons: Your one night stand won't believe the couched pizza crust isn't yours. And sometimes the Cyclone's scatterbrain translates to moldy shower curtains, late rent payments, and forgotten toilet paper runs. There's a chance you'll get stuck picking up after them, or sneaking Febreze in their laundry pile.

9. The Foreigner

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Pros: The Foreigner can be great because they're open-minded and outgoing (this person was brave enough to move to a new country, after all). They can point you to the most authentic local spot for their country's cuisine, and use that accent to enchant Americans of interest out on the town. Not to mention, they'll keep you in line when your 'peanut butter is superior' argument starts to sound one-sided.

Cons: Sometimes the Foreign roommate isn't here by choice, but for a job or because their situation forced them to leave home. This can make them frustrated and seemingly unfriendly (imagine being forced to live in this burger-ridden, gun-toting wasteland). The Foreigner may also take part in customs that make your life difficult, like sleeping on a bamboo mat and then cursing you for walking on the wood floor after dark.